Is My Thought Process Wrong?

[Deleted Member]

No Hun you're not wrong at all. We can't have a long term dynamic without a relationship foundation. Please don't forget that your trust is something a Dom has to earn, you can't just give it itll never work. Theres so much beauty in bdsm. People who have passion are very much more delicate, educated, and patient with the foundation process. It's not just sex, it's a lifestyle that runs so deep. Don't let them take advantage of you. Keep looking for the one that's right for YOU. Be patient and hold onto your self awarenesses, good luck 💕

[Ma****]

I believe your thoughts about this matter are on point. It's too bad there are too many wannabe's as is said earlier, but when you find a true master and/or dom, you will know. He will have a natural mindset of being a true master dom and divert his attention to you, give you what you want and need

[Cr****]

Relationship first! That’s where the trust starts. Without that, how can you let yourself be free to express who you are?
And if a partner isn’t happy to invest time and energy into becoming a partner, fuck, get away from them.
The exception is if you are also just playing, then be as free use with your body as you want!
Match on energy and kink first, build a relationship, then get what you need.

[SH****]

I totally feel you !!!

[SH****]

Google your fetish folks!! Read dif in play and real time

[SH****]

Daddy and babygirl relationships develop over much time. The more you put in play the more play you get out

[Ru****]

Don’t compromise, follow your heart/gut.

[Si****]

I actually recently had the reverse situation, where a lady who wanted a Dom and accepted my collar wouldn’t take the time to build a proper relationship first to assert a long term commitment.
She terminated our relationship abruptly saying publicly that there was no explanation…
And blaming me for being too vanilla over the 2weeks we spent together amid work and real life commitments…

[Ro****]

I’ve heard of this kind of thing happening a lot but the bottom line is: if that’s something you want and you’ve communicated that but they’re still backing away (especially if they have said they were also hoping to get to know you better), they are failing to hold your boundaries and you are super valid to be upset about it

[sa****]

Personally I say if you’re looking for a connection then you need to weed out the fakers…. If they aren’t willing to build the connection then it isn’t going to work in my opinion as in order to build and grow you need to be able to trust

[Al****]

Your feelings and boundaries are always valid and ought to be respected. Continue to practice patience. As with any type relationship, there is a process to develop that trust. Reserve from letting your desire overtake your common sense and Inner intuition.
Happy new Year and best to you!

[Deleted Member]

Treat it like any other dating. Do not automatically give out bc there are a lot of guys that use the kinks and fetish sites to troll for a fast lay. If they are not willing to invest time in you, they are not worth your time...unless of course you want laid and that's fine but it sounds like you want deeper connections. It takes time so live your life while searching for the right one. Time and patience is key!!

[ea****]

Hello. This is all part of the evolution you go through as a sub. Your standards and what you need as a sub are becoming more clear. Now keep learning what you want so you can make a more extensive checklist to see if that connection can be more than surface level...You decide who you submit to be disciplined in giving it to someone who checks all the boxes

[Vo****]

This is the sad reality of the lifestyle these days you will run into this sort of thing more than you think ore want to

[El****]

I was in a relationship once and the Dom only wanted to be called daddy but he did not have all of the qualifications of one he was emotionally and mentally abusive people who call themselves daddy's don't seem to understand that it's also a deeper connection than just a name it's sad really cause there are less and less true dom/daddy's out there

[Da****]

It sounds like some people can't merge but have to separate their private end personal relationships now unless I'm getting this wrong sounds like people having problems being a master in public I guess probably cuz a lot of society puts down on people who give orders and what not in public and so maybe they're just ashamed of themselves but in the bedroom they want to be a master or oh daddy daddy this I mean at least that's what I'm thinking. I guess the way I see it if you're going to rule you should be willing to rule in public as well so many people always fantasize with the people with an entourage but could never be that person with an entourage in public because I don't know I guess one should lead in a way where people want to follow you and you should not be afraid to leave even in public societies filled with so many people who are afraid to take any kind of authority for anything they need public to tell them what to do but oh yeah you close some doors and dim the lights that's a different story. I mean the world is filled with 1001 of those people I just got a hard time that a lot of people just ignore everything I say Even when I'm trying to get them to not walk into a solid wall which is funny then I do a sarcastic I told you so song well best of luck May you find somebody willing to spank you in public like you want to be spanked

[Tr****]

I feel this I recently had a little like that. I'm honestly to the point where I would rather just have fun rather than dating cause it seems to be dead at this point

[Bb****]

2 hours ago, TricksterLoki said:

I feel this I recently had a little like that. I'm honestly to the point where I would rather just have fun rather than dating cause it seems to be dead at this point

Don’t give up! I’m not hopefully luck changes this year for us both

[Ki****]

Maybe try getting to know them on a deeper level first to see who's serious about that life before getting involved

[Ar****]

Myself I can be pretty kinda from time to time, but it's scary opening up to someone about stuff like that without getting to know someone a little first but sometimes you just gotta risk it

[Su****]

For some of us, getting to know the whole person behind the kinky persona is more important than others. Don't give up! I recently found a Daddy Dom friend with benefits who I can chat with about anything and its been so refreshing. They ARE out there!

[da****]

I agree @Armyboy1991

[Deleted Member]

My experience is that once get past the surface stuff then you can test compatibility on many levels. Don’t chase! If they pull back, move on.

[earthyangel]

nothing is wrong with your thoughts. maybe those people were not exactly what you thought they are. what you  need to do is align expectations. maybe not in first conversation, yet in some point that you feel it's right to do. in a way, its pointless to invest time and energy in a person that is not fitting your needs. you should bring up the subject and talk about your needs in some point, and expect an answer about that. if the person is avoiding answering. probably he is not what you need for yourself.

[Ki****]

Your thoughts aren't wrong. I'm not going to fully submit or give my best self to someone who stays surface, thats just dangerous. There are way more fake Doms then real doms. Those fake doms have zero clue what being a real dom is, and they are not interested in knowing either. They are insecure and just working out thier mommy issues. Don't do anything with anyone that dosent meet your requirements or feels safe to you.