Adjusting to a new sub

[Deleted Member]

Let me preface with when I say "adjusting" I mean playing into a subs interests in a way that benefits my own. 

I recently met an absolute gem of a sub. He's so open to exploring new things, very communicative, and most importantly: he's very obedient. The more we talk and play the more apparent it becomes that he's a bit of a pleasure sub. I brought this up to him and he agreed fairly quickly saying he had never thought of that before but how he sees the alignment. Now, when it comes to domming, I like to focus on depriving my subs of their needs and wants until they're a desperate mess begging for whatever it is they're after. I see being the holder of their desires and being the only one who decides when they get to have those desires fulfilled as being such a rush. It's just so exciting. But this sub is more into fulfilling my desires. He wants to prioritize my pleasure. Which is all good and great, but I feel like there's a bit of conflict of interest here. 

I don't want to lose him and I do believe there are ways to easily get around this, but I'm wondering if anyone else has had the experience of playing into a subs interest even if it isn't directly aligned with what the dom(me) wants and how they went about doing that/coming to terms with that. 

I'm also open to suggestions as to how I can use his interests "against him" in a way that puts my desires above his without jeopardizing his pleasure.

 

Note: He likes heavy bondage, edging, ***d abstinence (masturbation), cross-dressing, chastity, and tease and denial. I like heavy bondage, impact play, tease and denial, ***, edging, over-stim, and joi (jerk off instruction). 

[Deleted Member]

I look at individuals in the BDS&M world as being like ingredients on a shelf of a bar. This alcohol with that mixer make an entirely different drink than that elixir and liqueur, and so it is with people and their kinks.
Enjoy this unique opportunity to explore something new, rather than figuring out how to fit your new toy in a box. I hope that helps.

[Deleted Member]

  4 hours ago, 6onmy9 said:

I look at individuals in the BDS&M world as being like ingredients on a shelf of a bar. This alcohol with that mixer make an entirely different drink than that elixir and liqueur, and so it is with people and their kinks.
Enjoy this unique opportunity to explore something new, rather than figuring out how to fit your new toy in a box. I hope that helps.

Expand  

It does, thank you! I’ll try to keep that in mind as I explore this new dynamic. 

[Pneuma]

It sounds like a match made in heaven 😉 I feel like as long as things are on your terms, the power is being exchanged and what YOU want within the confines of your agreement are being implemented. I'm sure there are many ways to make one beg and plead :) have fun and good luck