pe**** Posted January 15 Posted January 15 As a submissive, they are your EQUAL during the vetting process. Absolutely NO honorifics are to be used during this process of getting to know them. You ate not in a dynamic with the. If they demand you call them titles before agreeing on dynamic negotiations, such as needs, want, limits, boundaries, disengage immediately from them. They are not a good Dom. They are demanding consent without asking. That is a major red flag they are dangerous. A Dom never demands consent or takes it. A sub's consent is freely given when they are comfortable doing so. So many dishonest, unloyal, uncaring, selfish, predators masking around this lifestyle as Doms. Be careful. This is like a dating process. Get to know them. You are putting this person in control of your life. Make Good choices. Don't settle for what you don't want. You hold the power for yourself to choose wisely. Take your time vetting them. I require many months to vet a dominant. In 3 months, the infatuation stage always wears off and you see who they truly are as people. I see this all the time. I have stopped the vetting process and dismissed them as a prospect when their impatience shows. If they are impatient in the vetting process, they will be impatient in the dynamic. An impatient D type is dangerous. Means they are not in control of themselves. Good luck to you. I hope this helps guide you a little through this process.
So**** Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Late to the party and it's been pretty well covered, but hey, I want to pile in, too. As mentioned, we're all just people, strike up a conversation as in any public setting - if that part gives you anxiety, it's a whole different question. Some people are happy to jump right into titles/pet names or some other show of dynamic nature, but they'd usually indicate it in their profile. If they don't, I'd class that as a lil red flag. Regardless, whether you want to engage with that is your choice. Similar thing about faces - some people are direct or very physically orientated, you have to say if it's within your comfort zone or not. You can still say no and see if they want to keep talking, good test of boundary respect, too. Overall, just... See what you're comfortable with and respond to each context based off that, that's really as specific as advice here can get.
Tr**** Posted January 15 Posted January 15 Best way to approach a Dom or anyone for that matter is to talk to the profile and not the expectation. Our profile should be of interest to you in who or what your seeking outside of the fact the person is Dom. Talk to the profile.
Deleted Member Posted January 16 Posted January 16 Just be yourself That's what a real "Dom" does and is interested in.
Kinkywriter Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Call them by their name until you've actually met and decided if you want to call them something else, whatever that may be. You need to both be ok with it. It someone wanted me to call them Daddy I wouldn't proceed further because that's not something I want.
Spriguns Posted January 18 Posted January 18 Totally agree with kinkywriter Call yourself dom. Sum , slave pet. Or what ever you want. Just remember we are all human. And treat each other with respect. Nick/pet names are fine once you know each other
De**** Posted January 22 Posted January 22 Counterintuitive, but i actually like/prefer when “s-types” make first contact. Hopefully whoever you’ve taken interest in has written something of substance on their profile, so start with that. “Hey [ProfileName] I see you’re into some of the same things as I am, let’s get to know each other some more” Honorifics can be tricky, and i’d be cautious if someone demanded you called them one right away. Asking for a Face Reveal is also a tricky situation, if their profile has publicly viewable pictures of their face, but yours doesn’t, explain why, and if/when you would reveal your face, sadly in this day and age things like catfishing exist, along with bots and scammers, but there’s also the possibility of doxing, stalking and things of that nature. The way someone reacts and treats you towards a “Face Reveal” is likely going to be similar to the way they’d treat any of your other Soft/Hard limits
Pe**** Posted January 22 Posted January 22 Keep it simple. Just ask them if they want to have a scene with you. If they yes, ask them what they want to do.
Da**** Posted May 10 Posted May 10 Approaching me is very easy because I'm a relaxed kind of guy. You didn't have to call me sir, or Daddy, or anything of that nature until you start to feel comfortable with me. Most people call me Voodoo, as I'm known through several social media platforms and MMORPG games under the same name. If you know my real name, then call me that, and I'll call you by your real name, or since I was Born and raised in the Deep South, I may use terms of affection such as darlin, or sexy, even beautiful. ... Don't put so much pressure on yourself to use titles if they aren't deserved. Whether you value respect or trust or both, it's up to you to decide if the person you are speaking to, is worthy.
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