The 10 Domy Commandments

[Sp****]

1) The first person You should desire to control is yourself. An uncertain will cannot be imposed on another.

2) Be grateful for what You have. There are Those more deserving with less.

3) Say what You mean, do what You say and own what You do. Integrity breeds trustfulness.

4) Be Realistic. Life is not fiction. Life is stranger than fiction.

5) Treat submissives as You treat Yourself: With honour, respect, and care.

6) Strive to give Your submissive what they need, not necessarily what they (or You) want. Know the difference.

7) Over-react in haste: Repent alone in leisure.

8) Learn from Your mistakes, but do not regret them. They are inevitable.

9) Apologize when necessary. You are Dominant, not infallible.

10) Never look so far ahead that You lose sight of Your surroundings.

[Deleted Member]

What does #7 mean?

[Da****]

Quite enjoyed theae. Thank you! 😁

[Deleted Member]

I like number 3, but you won't know why

[Sp****]

3 hours ago, lofi_shy said:

What does #7 mean?

It means if you want to maintain a relationship, you need to be rational and flexible.

[DL****]

And on occasion Love each other!. If i may?

Edited February 2 by DLoren
Wrong English

[Redbottom***]

Submission is a gift. Never take for granted

[Ki****]

As a person that has led seminars on the ethics of being a dom this post is gospel

[St****]

Might I say
I was born a man.
I work to be a Gentleman.
Anger is wasted energy, it provides nothing.
Manners Maketh Man
Submission is not givin, so much as earned.
90 percent do not speak of sub drop, after care.
Your little s or big S owns you as much as you own them.

[Deleted Member]

Great post.
As the name implies, it is a power exchange, and where does that power come from? It's coming from the Sub. The Sub decides their limits and they have the power to end everything if they want. The Dom is responsible for treating that given power with respect and creating the space for the Sub to experience their fantasy.

[Pe****]

Beautifully said! 🖤

[Deleted Member]

Firstly, most of these apply to people in any kind of relationship, any kind or side of a dynamic. Secondly, #6 is a potential red flag, if someone's voiced wants are ignored over a perceived "need".

[In****]

Ive never heard it out like tha

[Sp****]

Sunday at 12:09 PM, bigcupoftea said:

Firstly, most of these apply to people in any kind of relationship, any kind or side of a dynamic. Secondly, #6 is a potential red flag, if someone's voiced wants are ignored over a perceived "need".

Initially I was going to not respond to this comment, but I thought that it could serve as a teaching moment.

Firstly, yes they do apply to people in “other” relationships. HOWEVER they are super important in a relationship where the parties are voluntarily not on “equal” footing. The Dominant has a consensually awarded advantage over the submissive that people in “other” relationship don’t necessarily have. This is precisely the scenario this was written to address.

Secondly, I’m not entirely sure you know what a D/s relationship consists of. If you think that it’s a never-ending cycle of a Dominant granting their submissive’s “wants” indiscriminately, I think you may need to reexamine your outlook. My submissives may “want” to eat a box of chocolates, or may “want” to spend $500 at Victoria’s Secret, but guess what? That’s NOT going to happen no matter how much they “want” to do it. As Dominants we are charged with using our veto for the betterment of the submissive and the relationship not to indulge the “wants” of our submissives or Ourselves. And while you may see this as a “Red Flag” in a vanilla relationship it is an absolute keystone of a D/s one.

[Co****]

A Dom Im chatting to, gave an example like this to me for no.6.
A Sub may WANT more impact play......but the Dom would see if she NEEDED less, eg if there were Weals on the skin .......x

[Deleted Member]

You're referring to a very specific kind of d/s relationship, not everyone in such a dynamic wants that level of control. It's an extremely traditional approach, which may work for some, but the "rule" could easily be used to dodge issues of consent.

[Deleted Member]

I would also recommend reading "Heart of Dominance" for everyone. A far better source of insight into dynamics than someone who's trudged down a mountain to bestow some rules upon us all.

[SK****]

18 hours ago, bigcupoftea said:

You're referring to a very specific kind of d/s relationship, not everyone in such a dynamic wants that level of control. It's an extremely traditional approach, which may work for some, but the "rule" could easily be used to dodge issues of consent.

Dodge issues of consent? What the f**k are you talking about? Which rule are you talking about?

[SK****]

17 hours ago, bigcupoftea said:

I would also recommend reading "Heart of Dominance" for everyone. A far better source of insight into dynamics than someone who's trudged down a mountain to bestow some rules upon us all.

Good book.. but you're a smarmy, insecure pedant, you know that? Not precisely sure what your problem is with someone trying to share with the community that doms should have integrity, be respectful, be apologetic when necessary, maintain self control.. which of those things do you disagree with? Which D/s dynamic do those things not work for? Sounds to me like this guy understands that submission is a gift and he is a grateful Dom.

[te****]

#1 is the hardest to explain. I’m an empath. People think they can be the person a submissive needs but hesitation and uncertainty is so palpable and it creates doubt and *** in a submissive. I can always feel it. Either you are or you aren’t. You can’t fake that.

[ha****]

What fantastic rules and very clear, everything a dominant should be

[Sp****]

February 10, SKInfidel said:

Good book.. but you're a smarmy, insecure pedant, you know that? Not precisely sure what your problem is with someone trying to share with the community that doms should have integrity, be respectful, be apologetic when necessary, maintain self control.. which of those things do you disagree with? Which D/s dynamic do those things not work for? Sounds to me like this guy understands that submission is a gift and he is a grateful Dom.

“Smarmy, insecure pedant”. lol. You said my quiet part out loud, you absolute LEGEND. 😂😂. Cheers. 🍻

[ha****]

These are at best pointers of any relationship let alone d/s interactions. They are not even rules. Common courtesy applies outside the setting but within the setting the aim is to get ultimate gratification mental, physical and emotional through a play of wills and physical impositions. I don't see how those 10 apply....none of them are relevant. The only guidelines are acceptance and planning, safety and cleanliness and above all an intent to partake to the fullest

[Da****]

I wonder how you define Power v Control. I am honestly curious.

[Th****]

Absolutely