ADVICE FOR NEWBIES.

[da****]

1 hour ago, Firefox_ said:

I'd also say read other peoples profiles too. Nothing worse than getting someone bombard with messages that have clearly ignored everything you've put on >< I also find Lobby chat a great way to start conversations and networking.

@firefox_ what is Lobby chat? Is that a forum on the app?

[ge****]

2 minutes ago, damselinadress said:

@firefox_ what is Lobby chat? Is that a forum on the app?

No it's one of the Chat Rooms here

[Missy45]

Even if you fill it out, you still have people sending you messages knowing they are not into what you want or you're not into what they want 🤦🏽‍♀️. Still just wasting people's time.

[Goddess_Fifi]

19 minutes ago, Missy45 said:

Even if you fill it out, you still have people sending you messages knowing they are not into what you want or you're not into what they want 🤦🏽‍♀️. Still just wasting people's time.

That is true because some people are lazy and don't read, I just ask them 'did you read my profile'? That usually will sort things swiftly.

[Th****]

2 hours ago, hellhoundsub said:

Great advice…. Or just make a fetlife acct and find your local kink community. Go to a munch and educational events and then ultimately play parties.

So many people think this *IS* FetLife. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

[Th****]

*READ* profiles as well. 

Edited February 8 by ThaliaV

[Th****]

Don't ask even more labor of those offering their time and effort to help you. Telling them to DM you or just tossing out there for people to contact *you* with tips isn't it. Don't do that. You can reach out to them if you'd like help or you can as if it's ok for you to sent them a dm here in this thread. 

This especially applies for anyone looking for women and even more so if you're looking for D type women. We are *tired* of no effort or the least amount of effort you can get away with. 

Edited February 8 by ThaliaV
Typos

[Goddess_Fifi]

5 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Don't ask even more labor of those offering their time and effort to help you. Telling them to DM you or just tossing out there for people to contact *you* with tips isn't it. Don't do that. You can reach out to them if you'd like help or you can as if it's ok for you to sent them a dm here in this thread. 

This epspecially applies for anyone looking for wwomen and even more so if you're looking for D type women. We are *tired* of no effort, least amount of effort you can get away with. 

Thank you for saying this 🙏🏾.

[Th****]

17 minutes ago, Goddess_Fifi said:

Thank you for saying this 🙏🏾.

You're very welcome. As you might tell, I have some *feelings* about this shit. 😮‍💨😂

[Goddess_Fifi]

15 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

You're very welcome. As you might tell, I have some *feelings* about this shit. 😮‍💨😂

Yes, you always make great points on the posts I've seen you on😊.

[Th****]

12 minutes ago, Goddess_Fifi said:

Yes, you always make great points on the posts I've seen you on😊.

Thank you. Same to you. 😁

[Li****]

Very well said, but then again if you are into a rare style of fetish, even with a profile filled out it still takes lots of patience to wait for someone to be interested in another. Though I do agree a filled out profile is best.

[Th****]

28 minutes ago, Lilwisky said:

Very well said, but then again if you are into a rare style of fetish, even with a profile filled out it still takes lots of patience to wait for someone to be interested in another. Though I do agree a filled out profile is best.

The more appealing someone is AS A HUMAN and compatible two people are un all the other areas will often lead to someone being willing to or even wanting to explore new things because of all the rest they get from the relationship. People > kinks is the way to go. 

As an example, for me personally there's a huge range of things I feel neutral about or have no primary interest in but of it's something a partner or potential partner is into and I'm really into *them* it could potentially lead to a secondary interest in whatever it is they're into. 

**Edit: Looked at your profile. For something so specific and often polarizing, joining fetish specific forums and groups on the various kink sites would probably be the best route I would think. 

Edited February 8 by ThaliaV

[sardonicus87]

36 minutes ago, Lilwisky said:

Very well said, but then again if you are into a rare style of fetish, even with a profile filled out it still takes lots of patience to wait for someone to be interested in another. Though I do agree a filled out profile is best.

Yep, could be literally decades (ask me how I know... but don't actually ask, that was a rhetorical question), and a large part of that's going to depend on where you live. Like if it's a major metro area, may still have to wait. If it's lower Alabama, USA fugedaboudit.
.
Being willing to travel helps, but also depends on the kink. Would be very sus to me if someone wanted to do the things that I want to do with someone that's a complete stranger they never met before.

[So****]

This is excellent advice that everyone really needs to follow. Including myself. And yes, I do have something written already, but I feel like it needs improvement and can be expanded upon.

[Goddess_Fifi]

Hmmmm, those who are being slightly pessimistic about the suggestion of having a filled out profile, guess what, they haven't thoroughly filled out their profiles 🤦🏾‍♀️.

[si****]

Hey, I can’t seem to send you a message, but do you think you could please help me make sure my profile is written well? I’d love to know how I can improve it

[Th****]

14 minutes ago, namer said:

Hey, I can’t seem to send you a message, but do you think you could please help me make sure my profile is written well? I’d love to know how I can improve it

It's actually not too bad and most definitely above average (though that's sadly not difficult to achieve). Especially for an s type man. 

A couple of notes... not every D type woman is a "Mistress" and it can even be an off-putting term for some to see as what someone is looking for, It is for me. In my opinion it would be better to use "Dominant woman" or "Domme". You should also be open to friendships only with Dominant women and people of all roles and not just other s types. People may be incompatible as partners but can still be friends who can help you learn and attend events with them. Building friendships with people of all roles and general networking helps with learning and you might eventually meet a potential partner because of the mutual acquaintances. 

Edited February 8 by ThaliaV

[si****]

12 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

It's actually not too bad and most definitely above average (though that's sadly not difficult to achieve). Especially for an s type man. 

A couple of notes... not every D type woman is a "Mistress" and it can even be an off-putting term for some to see as what someone is looking for, It is for me. In my opinion it would be better to use "Dominant woman" or "Domme". You should also be open to friendships only with Dominant women and people of all roles and not just other s types. People may be incompatible as partners but can still be friends who can help you learn and attend events with them. Building friendships with people of all roles and general networking helps with learning and you might eventually meet a potential partner because of the mutual acquaintances. 

Thank you so much. What exactly is the difference between a Mistress and a Domme?

[Th****]

3 minutes ago, namer said:

Thank you so much. What exactly is the difference between a Mistress and a Domme?

Mistress is more a title than a role, Domme is simply a Dominant woman. A Mistress is a Domme but not all Dommes identify with the title of Mistress, there are Queens, Goddesses, Princesses, Mommies, Owners. FemDaddies, and a whole lot more. It can get even more complex and nuanced as some will identify with a certain term as a title in certain dynamics but not necessarily with the specific type of role that most people might attribute to it. I'll use myself again for example... there have been times where I've had the title "Mommy" in a dynamic but I don't really identify as a "Mommy Domme" and my partners weren't Littles. 

[si****]

2 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Mistress is more a title than a role, Domme is simply a Dominant woman. A Mistress is a Domme but not all Dommes identify with the title of Mistress, there are Queens, Goddesses, Princesses, Mommies, Owners. FemDaddies, and a whole lot more. It can get even more complex and nuanced as some will identify with a certain term as a title in certain dynamics but not necessarily with the specific type of role that most people might attribute to it. I'll use myself again for example... there have been times where I've had the title "Mommy" in a dynamic but I don't really identify as a "Mommy Domme" and my partners weren't Littles. 

Wow. Ok, that sounds complicated. Good to know. I just addressed everyone as a Mistress, as I thought that kind of covers everything, where you can then go into more specific kinks if you want 😅

[Th****]

2 minutes ago, namer said:

Wow. Ok, that sounds complicated. Good to know. I just addressed everyone as a Mistress, as I thought that kind of covers everything, where you can then go into more specific kinks if you want 😅

To me addressing everyone as Mistress shows a level of inexperience and ignorance. 

 

It's not as complicated as it might seem if you keep in mind that it's all customizable and ask people for their specifics. "What does ____ mean or look like for you?" 

[Ba****]

I would love constructive criticism on my profile. Not much of a writer/texter more of an in person type of communicator.

[Th****]

5 hours ago, Fet-This said:

Feel free to give me all the pointers.
I've always found these places to be a right kick in the self confidence nuts

Yours is actually pretty appealing on it's own and I like that your current partner's profile is linked. Your ad makes it unclear though, if you're *only* searching for a third or if you and/or your parter are also seeking more partners on your own. For your ad it might be helpful to expand on what you're open to or looking for. Another submissive as an equal to you or who would be sub to you both, another Domme who would co-top you or what? 

[Fet-This]

If anyone wants to help make my profile a bit better please feel free to DM me with any advice!