New to the site

[Nabob]

Hi I'm new to the site and the fetish world more generally and I have some questions. 

 

1. How many of the people on this site are catfish? I've just signed up for the site and there didn't appear to be a particularly rigorous verification procedure. Are they a big problem, if so, how do people go about avoiding them. 

2. What are the risk of being "outed" (apologies if that's the wrong term)? This has been the main thing that has put me off using a site like this in the past. My family and friends don't really know about this part of my life and, for now at least, I rather it stay that way.  So if that is a risk, how can I best mitigate it. 

 

Thanks in advance for any responses!

[Deleted Member]

I'm not sure about catfish but they tend to ask people to verify themselves after joining. There is always a risk of being outed. Whatever site you use. You can have a partial face photo and make your location vague and never tell anyone who your employer is. Perhaps investigate your local munch? If you are totally new they are a good place to go to meet people and get advice face to face.

[Deleted Member]

Hello Nabob, and welcome to the community. 1. Catfishing is common, yes, but if you think too much on it then you are not going to be able to appreciate those who are real. Your best bet is to just treat everyone as if they are real, but treat them with the same caution you treat any stranger. Be polite, engage in a friendly manner, and if you notice signs of catfishing then proceed with respectful skepticism. That is only my opinion. First and foremost though; do not give away any personal information until you are sure that they are who they say they are. 2. There is no "risk" as such, of someone discovered, because kink/BDSM is not something to be ashamed of. You might wish to "act dumb" in a conversation about BDSM to hide your true knowledge, but apart from that, I would think it is a case of just being considerate of who you talk to. You would not tell your parents about your latest sexual activity; it is personal

[ey****]

catfishing can happen anywhere - but, I do think this site is quite quick with dealing with stuff.

when you think of outing - in a lot of ways, how could your friends and family find out?  there are important discretion to use - but, if say, they stumbled upon you, then, well, they're here for the same reason

[ey****]

(I can tell a story of one a friend of mine was shocked/horrified to see her brother turn up to a munch...) 

[Deleted Member]

As with any site, there will be those that will treat it as a game - see how many people they can attract by posting details of "themselves" that are made up - it is OK as long as they do not take the online encounter into real life.

Some people like to play with your emotions and feelings - maybe they have been hurt by somebody else and want to hurt other people in the same way

These sites offer anonymity - you can hide behind an online profile - you can invent detail about yourself 

As with life, there is the risk that not everyone you meet in person is who they say they are - might be older/younger in age, fitter/fatter/heavier than they have described themselves - lack experience and interests - 

Post messages on the site - see what reaction you get - does it sound plausible - attend events and ask users - they will tell u what they have found and what to look out for 

Nothing beats a real-life encounter but that is when you find out who is real and who is a fantasist - some people find it easier chatting about an interest online than actually doing it with a stranger - the *** of being found out/rejection - it might be not as exciting in real life as it seems online

As to being "outed" - you do not have to post a picture of yourself on your profile - everybody using this site is hiding something from somebody even their partners, so join the queue

If you feel that this site and others like it are not for you then do not join them. You will have to find another way of meeting people into what you like - if it was that easy, then these sites would not exist but it is because most people find it so hard to make contact with people that want to experience something different and more than a quick fuck that they come to a site like this - best of luck