Dirty_Boy123 Posted February 27 Posted February 27 Hi, I'm just looking for advice, please. I can't stand having hair around my public region but my Mistress insists on me and says it is a mark of hair ownership, we are both in a poly amorous relationship. I just hate it so much , I think it looks ugly, and I hate looking at myself this way. I will always respect her wishes and choices she makes, but this is starting to upset me as I hate it so much. Your advice will be gratefully received and appreciated, Thanks.
kelleysub Posted February 28 Posted February 28 I like being shaved and my mistress thinks it's proper and femme.she says only real men have hsir,just our thoughts
Lo**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 I think as a sub you should be able to set any limit that you want, especially if the situation is causing you bad mental/physical health. Try talking to her about how upset it makes you feel. However if she still insists after that point then I think it's important to consider if she actually does respect your wishes and safety as a sub.
Deleted Member Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Depends what you've agreed to when negotiating your dynamic with your Mistress and whether that negotiation was consensual... You Mistress is correct that pubic hair removal is a symbol of ownership under many BDSM dynamics, but everything has to be consensually agreed upon to begin with...
ropes_r_fun Posted February 28 Posted February 28 If you don’t enjoy it don’t do it. Just because they are the dom doesn’t mean they are 100% in charge. They are only as in charge as you choose to let them be. If they are taking more than you are happy to give, it is actually ***. There is no one way and we are all in this for the fun and enjoyment, don’t let anyone try and convince you otherwise. I would have a serious talk as adults about what you both want out of the situation. Maybe you aren’t aligned and that is ok. Maybe they don’t realise that you are really not enjoying it (it can be hard to tell in the D/s world which is why communication is sooo important)
Do**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Communicate this openly to your mistress ,tell her honestly how you feel . I let a sub shaved off his ginger pubic hair despite the fact that I initially insisted for him to keep it as I love ginger hair all over his body as he openly discussed it with me and I empathised with him. I don't want any of my subs to have a mental distressed/breakfast due to being obedient with me.
Ne**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Any BDSM protocols aside, ANYTHING that brings disdain, true disgust, and or goes against body autonomy isn’t something I’d get behind. While what your Mistress claims about the hair may be true - and I’ll point out, only true for Her here - being in a mutually beneficial relationship of any kind IMHO demands no one is subject to things they hate, that which doesn’t align within reasonably endured lines, serves to douse and not fire up and spark.
Co**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Hi, my thoughts on this are that if it upsets you so much, than you have a chat with your Mistress. Personally, I would have second thoughts about a Dom/Domme who insisted on you doing something which brought you mental, or emotional upset. Xx
Co**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 13 minutes ago, Dominatrix_Ryu said: Breakdown* ***y auto wrong lol 🤣🤣 Breakfast!
Hy**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 So let’s talk about hair for a second, yeah? You have to remember, the razor is a relatively new invention within the scope of human history. Hairless people did not exist before, shit I don’t know, the 80s? Putting this within a power context as a convenience to a much bigger question that needs to be asked. Why do you fucking care? Why is the conversation “I like it, but I’m not allowed to like it because she doesn’t like it.” Yeah but why don’t you like it? Feminity? Sensory? A lot of weird power dynamics are predicated on authoritarian structures that are inherently built not to question why the structures are in place. Overwhelmingly, these sorts of dynamics are abusive. Uninformed power dynamics cause cognitive dissonance that caused people to go crazy if it isn’t at some point addressed as to the rationale of why. That it bothers you so much, And that power is the reason that it is not being addressed, that’s a huge fucking red flag to me. You are seeing a problem with your body, why don’t you see the problem with the power discrepancy? Why isn’t your body, rather than the power, the crux of the conversation?
wi**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Hi Darkness! From my perspective it depends on degree of power exchange, respectively degree of your own decision-making autonomy in relationship, and also relating communication with partner. If your sexual and (everyday) romantic relationship are tightly bonded as you describe on your profile, you will naturally have less options for opinion asserting from nature of lifestyle you chose. There is alway an option to try having deep conversation about mutual expectations, requirements and boundaries with your partner, from which you could decide on future steps. If the result doesnt please you, you can always change your lifestyle and/or direct your attention elsewhere and strenghten your relationship with another member of your polyamorous group. Mutual respect and agreement on basic requirements and hard lines are really important!
Ne**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 23 minutes ago, Dominatrix_Ryu said: Breakdown* ***y auto wrong lol Now Pondering ‘Mental Breakfast’ + yoink to AutoWRONG, thank you. 😄
AngelOfDark1013 Posted February 28 Posted February 28 I go for the middle ground with my man and do a landing strip because he likes to see a little and I don't like hair. It is a nice compromise for this problem. Stylish. Easy to manage. Doesn't cause hygiene issues.
Ha**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Hi! Firstly I’m so sorry that you’re not the biggest fan of your hair and that it’s causing distress. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful world if we all loved everything about our bodies but I understand that’s just not realistic. Most important part of my response: your body your choice. Keep it bare if that’s your preference and it’s important to you. I’d also suggest sharing your feelings with your partner (if you haven’t already). I’d see it as a big red flag if my partner didn’t respect my wishes for my body regardless of power dynamics.
Ca**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 I had no control over my pubic region for a start I was in chastity but she decided how much hair I had . It was decided it should be the same as hers which usually meant completely shaven or a little landing strip. I didn't mind completely shaven but I didn't like the landing strip look
CopperKnob Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Whatever happened to Bodily autonomy? Consent? Limits?
Su**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 I kept my hair as evidence of my masculinity… After working in the Northern Territory of Oz for a month I was converted to the hygienic comfort of a smooth set of jewels .. soooooo comfortable in 40 degree heat ! As a side benefit , more ladies like the slippery pole to gorge on than have a bone to floss on !
CopperKnob Posted February 28 Posted February 28 2 minutes ago, Sussexcpl said: I kept my hair as evidence of my masculinity… After working in the Northern Territory of Oz for a month I was converted to the hygienic comfort of a smooth set of jewels .. soooooo comfortable in 40 degree heat ! As a side benefit , more ladies like the slippery pole to gorge on than have a bone to floss on ! In your opinion, based on the thoughts (or your perception of the thoughts of), the women you know, right? I mean otherwise its a blanket statement
Su**** Posted February 28 Posted February 28 Apologies… it was the opinion of the majority of workers , male and female, in the northern territories. I should have been more specific that the decision to go smooth was driven by the working environment and discomfort attributed to natural growth. As a microcosm of the population you are correct to pull me up on a generalisation .. ☺️
GL**** Posted February 29 Posted February 29 Compromise… maybe keep the hair but keep it trimmed really low. Maybe the only reason she’s doing it is because she knows it bothers you and it’s part of her control of you. Some woman love seeing their juices glisten in the hair. Maybe she has a bit of a fur fetish. Pick your battles… Does it mean that much to you that you will risk losing her altogether. If so… stand your ground. As a dom… I want my sub to feel confident in themselves and how they look so I don’t really care about things like this. I hope something I said helps.
Dirty_Boy123 Posted February 29 Author Posted February 29 23 hours ago, wildchemist said: Hi Darkness! From my perspective it depends on degree of power exchange, respectively degree of your own decision-making autonomy in relationship, and also relating communication with partner. If your sexual and (everyday) romantic relationship are tightly bonded as you describe on your profile, you will naturally have less options for opinion asserting from nature of lifestyle you chose. There is alway an option to try having deep conversation about mutual expectations, requirements and boundaries with your partner, from which you could decide on future steps. If the result doesnt please you, you can always change your lifestyle and/or direct your attention elsewhere and strenghten your relationship with another member of your polyamorous group. Mutual respect and agreement on basic requirements and hard lines are really important! Thanks your comment. The poly relationship was her idea and we both agreed, we live a fair distance apart and we meet one weekend in every three. I'm not involved with anyone else at the moment, but I do intend to be at some point, which makes her demand even more unreasonable.
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