Inferiority and Superiority

[Yo****]

Within the kink world , how often the slaves/subs truly believe in their inferiority within the dynamic?
And would that make them better in terms of their service ?

[sl****]

Believe what?

[Hy****]

This is kind of a weirdly fascist way to phrase this question, but I’ll bite.

If a person cares enough about her submission to make themselves worthy of someone in power, then they care enough about their standing with their ***rs to achieve.

I’ll be honest, most submissive are far more competent at life than most other people. They care more about shit, and if they have the support structure needed to keep them on task, they tend to excel at life, and often end up in leadership positions because of their competence. They are better at learning behavior and solving problems due to a number of factors.

The points of essentialism, the “nature of submission and domination” is all romantic and well, and no doubt, it’s sexy, but it’s really kind of worthless when measuring human behavior. Your question sits on a lot of presuppositions about value, image, ideals, all which are super fucking dense and need to be unpacked individually, But when using it colloquially, the fact that you don’t feel obligated that you have to? That’s kind of a power move.

And for anybody who sees it for what it is, they will know that the question is weak, because humans are more nuanced than that. 

[TJ38S]

Truly believe I'm an inferior person? Not at all. Hyrrolar above me is right. There's far more nuance to it than that. I think if I actually believed that I wouldn't be able to function as well in the real world. I think there's a very important distinction to be made between believing myself inferior vs going along with the dynamic and giving up that power and control at the time in the dynamic. Ironically, Hyrrolar is also right about the other part... Speaking for myself I run a successful business, volunteer my time in other places and I'm very competitive at several other hobbies. So, no, I don't actually believe I'm inferior to anybody but there is definitely a lot of subtlety and nuance to that dynamic. People are complicated!

[De****]

Most D types I've known don't expect or want their S types to extol any notion of inferiority. It's about respect, strength and a desire to submit and please a D type rather than sup/inf bullshit.

[VILKDUJA]

I think that "inferiority" is the wrong choice of word to describe the feeling of a sub/slave....either that, or you don't really understand what a Dom/Domme - sub/slave relationship or dynamic is truly about. Especially as in such a dynamic, the sub is the one who truly has the majority, if not all, of the power

[Deleted Member]

This is rage bait, surely?

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, Hyrrolar said:

This is kind of a weirdly fascist way to phrase this question, but I’ll bite.

If a person cares enough about her submission to make themselves worthy of someone in power, then they care enough about their standing with their ***rs to achieve.

I’ll be honest, most submissive are far more competent at life than most other people. They care more about shit, and if they have the support structure needed to keep them on task, they tend to excel at life, and often end up in leadership positions because of their competence. They are better at learning behavior and solving problems due to a number of factors.

The points of essentialism, the “nature of submission and domination” is all romantic and well, and no doubt, it’s sexy, but it’s really kind of worthless when measuring human behavior. Your question sits on a lot of presuppositions about value, image, ideals, all which are super fucking dense and need to be unpacked individually, But when using it colloquially, the fact that you don’t feel obligated that you have to? That’s kind of a power move.

And for anybody who sees it for what it is, they will know that the question is weak, because humans are more nuanced than that. 

Perfectly said.

[Yo****]

You really have no idea do you??

[Wy****]

I think some submissives may wish to experience feelings of inferiority in a limited short term manner as part of a *** kink during a scene, but that pairs with specific types of aftercare to bring the person out of that headspace once the scene is completed. Like people have mentioned above, to be in that state perpetually is not healthy for everyday life and I would think that one of the goals of a Dominant would be to assist their submissive in achieving the exact opposite in everyday life - that is to be confident, powerful, and above all happy with themselves and their dynamic.

[Yo****]

That’s quite shocking to me to be honest , I truly believed in my inferiority with my previous Miss , like not only during the kinky dynamic it was a 24/7 feeling of her absolute superiority

Am I being weird about that ? Or do you guys think there’s something wrong with the way I see things?

[De****]

11 minutes ago, Yorkshire_Domestic said:

That’s quite shocking to me to be honest , I truly believed in my inferiority with my previous Miss , like not only during the kinky dynamic it was a 24/7 feeling of her absolute superiority

Am I being weird about that ? Or do you guys think there’s something wrong with the way I see things?

Your belief is fine for you. It's just not what most D types are looking for. Ask yourself if your 'inferiority' is limited to your perceived D/s dynamic or how you carry yourself within society though. Either way, some reading and self learning might be recommended if you want to be the best version of yourself.

[CopperKnob]

And, this is why I hate when people read romance novels/chick lit and assume that it's reality (we don't do that with Star Wars do we???)
I don't think that there have been many people who've caused me to feel inferior to them and, if they have it's because they've been 🍆's and it's never ever been in a romantic relationship.
First and foremost, in any romantic relationship, I don't give 2 hoots as to how I identify otherwise.
There's a difference between submission and subjugation.

[Yo****]

Might be the way I look at the dynamic is different
And to be clear she didn’t made me feel inferior
It’s me who gave her the superiority and enjoyed that , and looking to find a similar lady who’s willing to allow me to give her that.

My inferiority is only with her as a person not in normal friend
Sorry if my post mislead some into thinking that I’ve been ***d into being inferior

My main point of the topic is to understand the concept and the understanding of inferiority and how subs and doms feel about it

[Wy****]

I think having someone to look up to and admire isn’t necessarily the same thing as feeling inferior

[Su****]

… this response is from ‘outraged in Sussex’ !!!

My behaviour is a gift to my lover. He is man enough to identify with my needs ..

He is the one I rely on for my emotional safety .. he is my rock NOT my superior !

I give my soul and my body because he is the chosen one for my life experience .. A submissive just enjoys pleasing the object of her affections. It is not a ‘superior/inferior ‘ areangement !

[Su****]

This is He …. Apologies for the grammatical error at the end of the ‘outraged from Sussex’ rant ☺️

[Kybreeze73]

Within any sexual dynamic you have dominant traits and submissive tendencies. But ladies love COWBOY and that’s a sign of dominance. Now the term SLAVE to me is “ any *** is acceptable.” Not me. Sometimes it’s more appropriate not to mention what you like and just go with the flow. I hope I have made sense. Happy Hunting

[Ar****]

Wednesday at 02:44 PM, DefinitelyMayB said:

Most D types I've known don't expect or want their S types to extol any notion of inferiority. It's about respect, strength and a desire to submit and please a D type rather than sup/inf bullshit.

this

[Ar****]

Wednesday at 05:16 PM, Lilone-6962 said:

This is rage bait, surely?

i suspect ignorance…

[Cl****]

Many years ago, my then S was a senior executive for a very large company. I'm an artist and she out earned me significantly. She was anything but inferior. And an excellent S.

[SubRosieEsq]

Lol this S type is a lawyer so, good luck with that one

[Hy****]

This topic is starting to spiral. I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to unpack this. I’m at an airport and bored, so here we go.

I believe OP meant this with intent sincerity, and deliberation, if socially shortsighted. Yes, it’s obviously fetishistic in some capacity, but where the fuck are we having this conversation? Fet.

I do not believe dynamics need necessarily respect social norms. If it did, this site and every single one of us would vanish in a puff of indignity.

Fascists, gross as they are, are right about at least one thing: playing into essentialism can be sexy in ways that often cannot be replicated through equality. Overt power displays are interesting. Authoritarianism, while often not just, benefits from something that submissive often crave: simplicity.

Fascism is a societal and sometimes social construct, not really an interpersonal one. It takes a lot of racists/sexism to make a fascism. BBC porn has systemic implications and results, but Karen messaging Jamal specifically to get her salad tossed does not inherently a fascism make (it can, but doesn’t inherently), at least until the spurned husband pulls a shotgun and tosses around an N-bomb.

The problem people are having? It’s a man making this post. If it were a woman, everyone would know the girl just ejected out of an Amish community. Would that be fascism? I don’t know, are Amish communities a marriage of corporate and government entities? Who the fuck knows! For this conversation, it doesn’t matter.

I have two subs. Both are TPEs. When my girls CANNOT feel inferior to me, either due to life or a relationship dispute, it causes them non-insignificant amounts of distress.

This is NOT a value conversion, this is a COMFORT conversation.

Do I look for women who seek inferiority to me? Yes. Absolutely. Miss me with that brat shit. I want bootlicker sluts that are seeking a personal jesus and hate enforcing their own boundaries.

But I can’t take these women seriously if they haven’t successfully built a version of themselves that shows their superiority. I’m sorry. I can’t honor a lazy sub. I require degrees of integrity and intensity that normies can’t provide. Inferiority isn’t valuable to me if they have have tried ladder-climbing and it didn’t work for them. I need them to be power-literate. That’s almost impossible to do if you’ve been powerless all your life.

This line of discourse the OP opened is sloppy, problematic, and not useful to most people. Setting it as a social norm is a tirefire waiting to happen, if not inherently inhumane.

But if you’re a middle management magna cum laude sorority girl that thrives in structure, but you fuck maga hats on the weekend because they, at the very least, fuck you like the woman you want to be, and you know you don’t to see them again because other than a degrading fuck, they have nothing to offer you?

Or the white woman who drools over black men because their entire life they’ve been surrounded by milquetoast alter boys that don’t know how to move their body correctly? Or worse yet, the submissive good-ol-boy who spends their weekends gooning to Blacked.com? Or hell, the Findomme ban on Fet (excellent policy choice, IMO, paypiggery is exploitation).

If you think superiority isn’t the eros of the power-exchange enthusiasts , you haven’t been paying attention to sex.

And if you think superiority is the measure of the value of a person, you might be a shitty, or at least maladjusted, person.

[Do****]

I don’t like that idea of thinking of a sub as “inferior”. All humans are equal. They assume different roles at different times, in work and in play. But I wouldn’t want to think of someone as inferior to me.

[Yo****]

March 7, DommeDelight said:

I don’t like that idea of thinking of a sub as “inferior”. All humans are equal. They assume different roles at different times, in work and in play. But I wouldn’t want to think of someone as inferior to me.

The rational here is my feeling not what I’m being asked to do
My feeling of inferiority to females is what makes me do and serve better