Doms and training

[MiriMoon]

So there's a Dom I'm interested in but he lives pretty far away from me so everything is online at the moment. We've talked about different kinks and scenarios and roleplayed a bit but I really want him to train me since that seems like something fun we can do while we're apart and he says he'll train me but hasn't made any move to do so so I'm wondering if he's thinking of just doing that in person. I guess I'm wondering if it's common to train long distance. I was also wondering if when a Dom is genuinely interested in you is being trained by another Dom online if they just want to do in person something most Doms wouldn't want to do? Does that feel like having someone else encroach into their territory? I'm new and very interested in this and guess I'm just curious on more doms perspectives on training in general and what they prefer/are comfortable with. I know his feelings will be his own and no one can speak on his behalf but it just got me curious how other people think of this. Do all doms even do training or does that pertain more specifically to a slave/master relationship? Just curious and wanting to know more :)

[ey****]

I think you're getting excitable by the idea... which is understandable.   But, for example, has he trained anyone before? Does he need support in doing this with you? Have you asked if he wants to do this distance or in person?

[Deleted Member]

Definitely communicate this with him and ask him. Find out his intentions. If asking him this sort of thing is difficult then I'm afraid that any kind of D/s will not work in the long run with this person. You should feel able to discuss anything and everything including your expectations and worries and needs. Good luck and be safe xxx

[Ar****]

I don't know if it is "common" to train long-distance as most relationships (other than ones which are purely online) will tend to be between people who live within a reasonable range of one another. It certainly happens though and I would clarify with this Dom as soon as possible whether his intent is only to train you in person. I was training a sub online earlier this year; it was only ever likely to be online as she resided in another country, however I found there was no issue training her as if she were physically present. With the sub I am currently engaged with, I was able (and wanted) to do some training before we met. Perhaps he would like to wait to see if you have true chemistry? It does seem slightly peculiar to me but everybody is different (which is fine) and as you say nobody can speak for your Dom. Regarding having other Doms train you that is truly down to each individual. There are some who would allow that, although most tend not to. My feeling is that if I am doing my job properly there should be no need for a sub who had given herself to me to seek/receive training elsewhere, and I would not expect to permit it if asked. That said, a D/s relationship is symbiotic and if for some reason I were not able to provide the input (time, attention etc) due which would respect the relationship I would for that period feel it unfair to completely dismiss the possibility, at least until I was able to offer my attentions again. It can get murky ground, if you let it... there really are no hard and fast rules except for what works for each relationship being right. Sod what anyone else thinks 😂

[Deleted Member]

As a Dominant who wants a Master/slave relationship, I can tell you that I do want to train a Submissive. I also know that all Masters are Dominants, but not all Dominants are Masters. It is definitely possible to train a Submissive long distance, however, if physical training (living closer to each other) is possible then I would definitely prefer that. Mainly I would say that training is not impossible through online platforms, so you need to clarify with your Dominant what you want and what they want.

[MiriMoon]

Thank you all for your helpful replies! After more consideration and research as well as talking to my Dom I don't think I want to train with anyone else as long as I'm interested in this person, even if that means we cant train at all because he wants to train in person and we don't get that time together very often. He has had experience training his last sub but they also lived close to him to work with him in person. I don't think he's against training online and if we really commit to this that is what we'll have to do, but as we live far away I think I will take a step back from training and see how spending time with him in person in a few weeks goes first. I got really excited at the prospect of it but I will be patient and take it one step at a time. ^_^ Thank you all for your insightful advice!