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Romance?!

me****

By me****
in Kink Academy

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ne****

ne****

Posted
Proper Dom/sub relationship should be based on connection and trust. Dum must make sure his subs needs are met. At least that's how I see it
po****

po****

Posted

as already stated,sub or dom are equally entitled to get the maximum enjoyment/fufillment from the arrangement, my suggestion would be to, approach a dom who has taken the time to ease your mind and spend some time with him and see the differences between being submissive to the point where your shaking in xtc or shaking with shame.
 

Ta****

Ta****

Posted
I debated on even replying because I’m afraid of what this post entails. There is the real world and fantasy play and it sounds like you’re engaging in fantasy play, which really has nothing to do with the kink or BDSM community. A relationship requires real interaction between two people that does not occur through online play.

However, to answer your question… No, an owner has more emotional and physical responsibility to a sub he/she owns, so quite the opposite of what you inferred. It sounds like you have fantasy and reality slightly confused if as you say, you have only “started talking”, but maybe I’m taking you too literally. Regardless, you should be cautious and protective with anybody who even remotely suggests financial contribution. That sounds more like a typical scammer scenario than anything else. Healthy boundaries are always a good practice and in D/s relationships, these boundaries are often incorporated into a D/s contract as “limits”. These contracts are often written out, reviewed by both parties and negotiated at periodic intervals to encourage a healthy relationship. I’m sure you can find various examples of such agreements by simply googling “BDSM Contracts”. I always encourage newbies to read from several sources when it comes to things they may be unfamiliar with. Remember that the term “contract” is used loosely in BDSM because most, if not all, D/s contracts are really just a guideline between parties and are NOT legally en***able. They do document intent and consent, but that’s about it and consent can certainly change at anytime. You cannot legally enter into a legally binding BDSM contract in the United States, but that’s an entirely different discussion.

Deleted Member

Posted
As a Dom I feel it is my responsibility to make sure ALL of my subs needs are met. She is NOT one of the bros. She is respected and held to a higher standard than anyone in my life. ANYONE. She is in effect my partner in life even if she is my submissive. Sounds to me like you're being friendzoned with benefits. Just my perspective.

Deleted Member

Posted
No. What you describe is not D/s, it’s predatory behavior.
Ma****

Ma****

Posted
Sounds ick asf, even when im harder with my sub there's still love behind it AND aftercare to let them know that it is just roleplay not real life
Mr****

Mr****

Posted
Yeah, that's outside the lifestyle. He sounds like an @s$ who might be good at controlling someone. People like that aren't worth it, in my opinion. You can find a master who will give you what you desire yet treat you like a normal person, friend, and lover. Dont waste your time
Br****

Br****

Posted
Agreed, he's a POS. DONT GIVE HIM ANYTHING. He sounds psychotic or sociopatic. Maybe?
Not worth your time.

Deleted Member

Posted
Girl the price of advise I was given when I started exploring my options. It is all about comfort, open communications and getting needs met. If ANY of these components is not getting met bow out. You just have to find the circumstance and person that works for you. Good luck 🍀
Ch****

Ch****

Posted
Depends on the limits you set with him. Have you talked to him how he is coming across and its impact? Have you set the expectations explicitly (and I mean explicitly - none of the implicit “well, we never said” or “he should get the hint” BS - explicitly said “dude, here is what you are doing makes me feel)?

Frankly, he sounds like a user. Don’t give him anything period. Cut your losses and be done before you give him more of your precious time.
Ba****

Ba****

Posted
  On 3/17/2024 at 7:50 AM, mermaidkat1990 said:

So I’m new to this lifestyle. When you are “owned” does the owner have to be less affectionate (physically, verbally and mentally) towards the owned? I’m talking to a guy who gives me no affection whatsoever and I follow all his rules, requests and requirements but he talks to me like I’m one of his “bros”. He never says he wants me, misses me nothing of that sort but he expects me to shower him with attention (and he has even hinted at me financially helping him) but doesn’t give me an ounce back or any kind of attention.

Is this the normal dynamic of this kind of relationship? Again this is my first time being in this kind of relationship so I’m not entirely sure what expectations are needed.

Thank you for all your comments and advice!

Expand  

 

  On 3/17/2024 at 7:50 AM, mermaidkat1990 said:

So I’m new to this lifestyle. When you are “owned” does the owner have to be less affectionate (physically, verbally and mentally) towards the owned? I’m talking to a guy who gives me no affection whatsoever and I follow all his rules, requests and requirements but he talks to me like I’m one of his “bros”. He never says he wants me, misses me nothing of that sort but he expects me to shower him with attention (and he has even hinted at me financially helping him) but doesn’t give me an ounce back or any kind of attention.

Is this the normal dynamic of this kind of relationship? Again this is my first time being in this kind of relationship so I’m not entirely sure what expectations are needed.

Thank you for all your comments and advice!

Expand  

@mermaid  Honest to God I Woulda kick one on a B **h if my love ain't recipricating.💯I ain't keeping score on who does more in a relationship. if but I  put my all to you n can't get anything in return a simple I 'miss you' coming home or a simple kissing on the daily. then I know where. we stand I'm gone my presence should be considered a blessing. so yea you tripping still with em . some body else will value you too many fish in the ocean. 👌💯

Ba****

Ba****

Posted
  On 3/17/2024 at 7:50 AM, mermaidkat1990 said:

So I’m new to this lifestyle. When you are “owned” does the owner have to be less affectionate (physically, verbally and mentally) towards the owned? I’m talking to a guy who gives me no affection whatsoever and I follow all his rules, requests and requirements but he talks to me like I’m one of his “bros”. He never says he wants me, misses me nothing of that sort but he expects me to shower him with attention (and he has even hinted at me financially helping him) but doesn’t give me an ounce back or any kind of attention.

Is this the normal dynamic of this kind of relationship? Again this is my first time being in this kind of relationship so I’m not entirely sure what expectations are needed.

Thank you for all your comments and advice!

Expand  

@mermaidkat1990I'm doing the running man on any b**h that ain't showing some love yea you tripping staying in that relationship. TREAT YOURSELF DONT CHEAT YOURSELF. ,💯

Deleted Member

Posted
  On 3/17/2024 at 2:50 PM, mermaidkat1990 said:

So I’m new to this lifestyle. When you are “owned” does the owner have to be less affectionate (physically, verbally and mentally) towards the owned? I’m talking to a guy who gives me no affection whatsoever and I follow all his rules, requests and requirements but he talks to me like I’m one of his “bros”. He never says he wants me, misses me nothing of that sort but he expects me to shower him with attention (and he has even hinted at me financially helping him) but doesn’t give me an ounce back or any kind of attention.

Is this the normal dynamic of this kind of relationship? Again this is my first time being in this kind of relationship so I’m not entirely sure what expectations are needed.

Thank you for all your comments and advice!

Expand  

This shkuld be decieded in the initial discussion. Some like to give affection I know I certainly do and others like to keep it kink only

bo****

bo****

Posted
I've been here a while and starting to lose hope. I've been looking for a relationship with dominant. But all I've found is just sex crazy people. Am I in the right place. And do yall have suggestions.
si****

si****

Posted
Definitely not! Sounds like they're all take and no give. Some people are into that but don't let him convince you that it's the norm, ESPECIALLY if you aren't getting your own needs met.
Pa****

Pa****

Posted
No a true owner is to care for you, protect you, teach you, and use you often
Pa****

Pa****

Posted
If he hints or tells you that you need to help him financially, run do not talk to him at all he is just going to use you ( and not in a good way ) he is NOT a true Dom.
gu****

gu****

Posted
These kinds of dynamics are defined by those who are in them, in any roleplay boundaries must be respected and if your needs arnt met id say thats pretty close to the same thing
Su****

Su****

Posted
I constantly give care to my sub. After care ect. Sound like you possibly have someone who is not a dominant. But this is my opinion.
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