Collars

[Fa****]

What are the rules on getting a collar from someone? The only thing I've found is that the wearer can't take it off. The "master/dom/etc." has to allow it to be removed.

[Pr****]

The rules are whatever you and your partner decide they are.

[helpinghand_256]

Some couples treat a collar like a marriage vow, some use them just for play. It's up to both people's discretion, but it will generally mark the sub as claimed by their dom.

[Va****]

Every dynamic is different. It depends what that specific collar means to each party.

[Sp****]

Back when I first got into the lifestyle there were three separate types of collar (plus one)

There is the “consideration collar” usually a ring or necklace. It denoted that the submissive was being evaluated (and evaluating) a relationship with a prospective Dom. It also denoted a degree of exclusivity. The analog to it would be a “promise ring” in terms of significance. After the consideration period is over if everything is hunky-dory then the submissive is given a “training collar”. This is a statement of exclusive (within negotiated limits) relationship between Dom and sub. The collar is put on and taken off by the Dominant whenever possible. For discretion there may be a “day collar” which is usually the consideration collar, which is worn publicly when the training collar is not appropriate. The equivalent to this would be an engagement ring in significance. I.e - ending a relationship in this stage would be like breaking an engagement. The third collar is what is referred to as a “slave collar”. Once the submissive has implicit trust in her Dom, they will often “give up” their limits and safewords, secure in the knowledge that the Dominant will never exceed what they know the submissive is able to handle. The equivalent to this collar is the wedding ring.

Anyhow that’s how it was when I was coming up, when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Your mileage, of course, may vary.

[Da****]

There are many different types of collars with varying levels of importance. However there are NO rules strictly attached to a collar, when you accept a collar hopefully the sub and dom have had conversations and agreed upon the parameters , rules, punishments, rewards, safe words, protocols and more. I prefer to have that all in a contract, even though I understand there isn’t anything legal with it but it spells out everything for a sub including what she can expect out of me. And by taking the time to do all this it helps the sub understand her importance in your world, that you took time to spell it all out! As far as not taking it off if a dom isn’t fulfilling his duties, I believe all bets are off. Having a sub, achieving the beauty of a persons submission comes with quite a bit of responsibility, and if he’s not doing his end then no reason for you to honor yours…but never accept
a collar without understanding what it means to yall, and everything that comes with it. also never stay in an unsafe circumstance…
collar or not!

[un****]

there are no rules at least not in the way you’re asking the question what i mean by that is there are no rules that are set in stone that everyone follows when it comes to collar rules everyone has their own version and that is a conversation that you have to have with your partner to see what rules you both agree with and what you want to implement so it is very much a case by case basis no two rulesets are the exact same

[An****]

  2 hours ago, DaddysHere2please said:

There are many different types of collars with varying levels of importance. However there are NO rules strictly attached to a collar, when you accept a collar hopefully the sub and dom have had conversations and agreed upon the parameters , rules, punishments, rewards, safe words, protocols and more. I prefer to have that all in a contract, even though I understand there isn’t anything legal with it but it spells out everything for a sub including what she can expect out of me. And by taking the time to do all this it helps the sub understand her importance in your world, that you took time to spell it all out! As far as not taking it off if a dom isn’t fulfilling his duties, I believe all bets are off. Having a sub, achieving the beauty of a persons submission comes with quite a bit of responsibility, and if he’s not doing his end then no reason for you to honor yours…but never accept
a collar without understanding what it means to yall, and everything that comes with it. also never stay in an unsafe circumstance…
collar or not!

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Well said!!

[Fa****]

Thank you all so much. It makes more sense now, and I appreciate your time!

[Su****]

  16 hours ago, TooLate said:

The rules are whatever you and your partner decide they are.

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We debated this one (he and I) for ages .. so please, please , please let us know what happens…

You have all the collar types and circumstances set out in the fabulously clear responses already … absolutely none of them is likely to fit a ‘ brat who likes to submit’ for long is his view. My view is give it a go but whip it off when the minx takes over 🤣🤣🤣

[JamesSwitch55]

The rules are whatever you say they are. It is a collaboration between equals.

[Deleted Member]

It depends on dynamics I would imagine protocols would be set in place. The submissive wears their collar at home. The submissive doesn’t wear it in public outings. Some people don’t mind being in your face. Some people in vanilla settings don’t want to draw attention.