Primal

March 25, 2024

There are so many misconceptions to being primal.

I believe it is to protect, be an alpha in a pack, nuture and comfort.

I do enjoy stalking prey and clawing and biting sexually but when I find a sub mate it is all about protection.

What are your thoughts on primal

March 25, 2024

You are correct. I had never thought of it from that perspective. I may need to add that, I have an innate need to feel protected.

March 25, 2024

No such thing as an alpha in a pack btw, it’s always cringe when anyone says it. Just a friendly bit of advise :)

March 25, 2024

17 minutes ago, Just_Jen said:

You are correct. I had never thought of it from that perspective. I may need to add that, I have an innate need to feel protected.

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It is a massive part of me to protect

March 25, 2024

17 minutes ago, BegForBedtime said:

No such thing as an alpha in a pack btw, it’s always cringe when anyone says it. Just a friendly bit of advise

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Thecadult male of a wolf pack is the alpha if you read up often with his mate. My primal is a wolf so you may need to look it up

March 25, 2024

Nah mate that 1 study is ridiculed in the scientific community, and it did a lot of damage to the understanding of wolf packs

March 25, 2024

Seriously get educated on it

March 25, 2024

7 minutes ago, BegForBedtime said:

Seriously get educated on it

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I have a lot so thank you for input but not needed

March 25, 2024

Totally new here so what do I know but this feels accurate for me. I chose primal as one of my “labels” on here and have seen a wide variety of interpretations, many of which have caused me to ponder whether to remove it.

As for the alpha male point, you are both right. The alpha “top dog” theory has been completely debunked but the “parents” of a pack are still referred to as Alpha and beta and still assert dominance by virtue of being the parents.

As someone completely new to kink, when I think of the label “Primal”, it makes me think of being hunted, of submission and looking to my mate/partner/boyfriend/whatever to protect and assume a masculine role. It may also lead me to assume an interest in things like biting/scratching/wrestling/outdoor sex. But honestly I don’t know if that’s correct, just my interpretation.

March 25, 2024

2 minutes ago, centralpark said:

Totally new here so what do I know but this feels accurate for me. I chose primal as one of my “labels” on here and have seen a wide variety of interpretations, many of which have caused me to ponder whether to remove it.

As for the alpha male point, you are both right. The alpha “top dog” theory has been completely debunked but the “parents” of a pack are still referred to as Alpha and beta and still assert dominance by virtue of being the parents.

As someone completely new to kink, when I think of the label “Primal”, it makes me think of being hunted, of submission and looking to my mate/partner/boyfriend/whatever to protect and assume a masculine role. It may also lead me to assume an interest in things like biting/scratching/wrestling/outdoor sex. But honestly I don’t know if that’s correct, just my interpretation.

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Thank you so much for your rounded and excellentt feedback

March 25, 2024

Oh... you missunderstood being primal with being primus. Being alpha. I think that is incorrect.
To me it means beeing Not tainted by civilization. Not beeing tamed. Beeing wild and free. Follow your true nature. Whatever exactly that is.

March 25, 2024

1 hour ago, Just_Jen said:

You are correct. I had never thought of it from that perspective. I may need to add that, I have an innate need to feel protected.
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Why ist that so passive? Being protected. Why not being strong to protect yourself?
In my understanding strength is an integral part of being primal. To all participants.
And yes, I love being Outdoor, (mixed Wrestling), being naked.

March 25, 2024

I think the reason there are so many different interpretations of primal is due to so many different concepts of relationships in the free nature.
For me it is about power, about protection, which is somehow related to power, about the right to reproduce, about instincts, about service.

A lioness is strong, especially in the group, still they are protected by the male lion against other male lions. Therefore they serve him food and are at his will sexually.
A female bear on the other hand protects herself and her kids herself against other male bears, so she is not granting any services to a male bear. There are many ways to interpret the primal play.

March 25, 2024

9 hours ago, GentlemanDomCymru said:

Thecadult male of a wolf pack is the alpha if you read up often with his mate. My primal is a wolf so you may need to look it up

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The study that gave us the concept of “alphas” was done on wolves in captivity, and is pretty widely known to be inaccurate. Today, the term “alpha” is just used to refer to the progenitor of the pack. In nature, there is no alpha, as you describe it. The great irony is that it’s not very “alpha” of guys to compare themselves to captive wolves.

March 25, 2024

Also, I personally don’t feel that the concept of being an alpha has any place in the kink community, because alpha is a competitive concept and gives the impression that someone who calls themselves an alpha thinks they are better than others, and kink and BDSM is not about that, it’s about the personal freedom to do what you want without being judged or judging others.

March 25, 2024

Just now, Doitanyway said:

Also, I personally don’t feel that the concept of being an alpha has any place in the kink community, because alpha is a competitive concept and gives the impression that someone who calls themselves an alpha thinks they are better than others, and kink and BDSM is not about that, it’s about the personal freedom to do what you want without being judged or judging others.

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Again it is personal preference and understanding

March 25, 2024

30 minutes ago, Doitanyway said:

Also, I personally don’t feel that the concept of being an alpha has any place in the kink community, because alpha is a competitive concept and gives the impression that someone who calls themselves an alpha thinks they are better than others, and kink and BDSM is not about that, it’s about the personal freedom to do what you want without being judged or judging others.
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Sounds to me like you are willing to exclude people from an inclusive community.
We are all fine if this is nothing for you, but can’t you let people enjoy it if that’s what they like, as long as they do it with each other‘s consent?

March 25, 2024

As someone who's entire career has been in *** behavior science I always find it very cringe when men refer to themselves as "Alphas."

March 25, 2024

This conversation is also seeming to really skirt along "one true way" stuff

March 25, 2024

43 minutes ago, Bbw-breeder said:

Sounds to me like you are willing to exclude people from an inclusive community.
We are all fine if this is nothing for you, but can’t you let people enjoy it if that’s what they like, as long as they do it with each other‘s consent?

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Well then it sounds wrong to you, because I didn’t say that anyone who calls themself an alpha should be excommunicated, I just don’t think the concept fits the community. Calling yourself an alpha isn’t partaking in an activity per se, you don’t need someone else’s consent to do it. It’s just elevating yourself above others.

March 25, 2024

3 minutes ago, Doitanyway said:

Well then it sounds wrong to you, because I didn’t say that anyone who calls themself an alpha should be excommunicated, I just don’t think the concept fits the community. Calling yourself an alpha isn’t partaking in an activity per se, you don’t need someone else’s consent to do it. It’s just elevating yourself above others.

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Okay, but if it’s someone’s kink to claim himself better than others, wouldn’t it belong just here then?
Why does claiming to be a little belongs here in your opinion but claiming to be a godlike superior being not? Isn’t it the same concept? Obviously none of them is what they claim to be.

March 25, 2024

15 minutes ago, Bbw-breeder said:

Okay, but if it’s someone’s kink to claim himself better than others, wouldn’t it belong just here then?
Why does claiming to be a little belongs here in your opinion but claiming to be a godlike superior being not? Isn’t it the same concept? Obviously none of them is what they claim to be.

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There's a difference and separation between being a little which is only about that individual and has zero impact on anyone else and going around claiming "alpha" outside of a dynamic. When it's outside of a dynamic there's no consent.

I've next to never observed those in the community who really are quite impressive talking about themselves in such a way.

**Someone's rank within a dynamic has no bearing on anything outside of it. It's no different from the concept that just because I'm *a* Dominant, it doesn't mean I'm *your* dominant

Edited March 25, 2024 by ThaliaV
Additional thought

March 25, 2024

Why do these posts always go so off topic?
The OP asked for thoughts on what constitutes primal, not alpha.

Point scoring on what alpha male does or does not mean is not really relevant to the OP, besides which it seems to me that the OP’s use of the word alpha had no relationship to competition or claiming superiority over the community or men in general.
Or am I missing something here?

March 25, 2024

Because it’s about agency in the conversation. For someone to tell me they’re a little, it’s about them, has nothing to do with me. I could claim to also be a little and it would mean we have something in common to talk about. For someone to tell me they’re an alpha, they’re telling me that they think they are superior to me, which is a conversation, a topic, a concept that I have no agency in. I do not consent to your arbitrary conception of me as compared to you. Someone claiming to be an alpha is assigning me an identity that I don’t consent to. If I also claim to be an alpha, then it becomes a competition or an argument wherein either party is trying to put the other in a place beneath them. To me, it’s akin to telling a trans man that they are less of a man than me based entirely off of my own definition of what being a man means.