Vandalslut Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 9 hours ago, FallenAngel3710 said: I have found in 5 short months the absolute freedom that can be experienced by surrendering to someone I trust. The letting go of my tendencies to control are the reason I’m here. I am being healed, brought into balance, and empowered by my experience so far. I've no intention of joining the 'fray' as it were but, while having a fast coffee break, would like to wish FallenAngel all the best. I came out of a relationship with a very inexperienced Dom and into a relationship with an experienced Vandal (35 years now) so I totally understand your remarks about balance and healing and most of all, the empowering rush of complete and absolute freedom in surrendering and letting go.
BigPolly Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 As @eyemblacksheep has said, being a Dom(me) is very tiring, both physically & mentally. Having to get up everyday think & setting out a new task will take its toll so these things need to be spread out. Also if the intensity is in the role play then staying in ‘character’ is hard work as he needs to keep his character up whilst leading your character. Lack of this then becomes hard for a sub because you are being led, so as soon as you get off the starting block you’re character becomes ignited, if you then don’t hear anything for hours or a day that role is left wondering & you kind of feel like ‘so what now’ your relationship is long distance so you rely on constant mind-food to keep it alive, as soon as this lessens it becomes really hard to cope with as a that sub/security bubble feels like it’s going to pop. The mind can be a cruel thing. Sadly life gets in the way for us all. Not enough sleep or a bad day at work etc can leave your Dom feeling too drained to be training you but like others have said, communication is key. It’s easy as a sub to become needy but maybe suggest that rather than several little tasks a week, maybe he sets you one more involved task every Monday morning where you report back daily or send photos as the week goes on. Whatever is happening with him you matter too. Don’t allow yourself to become so lost or unhappy & waiting for texts to come in. Good luck 😊
ey**** Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 one thing I think - not wanting to contradict my previous point - but whether your feelings are right or wrong they're still your feelings and it's still worth a discussion - but if you can understand the impact on the Dominant and that they can respond by understanding the impact on you then it should help continue on a happy path.
FallenAngel3710 Posted November 18, 2019 Author Posted November 18, 2019 Again - thank you everyone for your responses! It has been very helpful and supportive.
Vandalslut Posted November 18, 2019 Posted November 18, 2019 Good luck, Fallen Angel. Most people here are genuine, interested in supporting and advising within their sphere of experience. Hope all goes well for you - let us know if you can.
Deleted Member Posted November 19, 2019 Posted November 19, 2019 On 11/17/2019 at 1:12 PM, DanteReign said: I **think** that is a clarification of my thoughts @LazyPiratesBounty @DaisyMae it has also occurred to me that I have not publicly clarified **my** difference between punishment and discipline. My idea of punishment is essentially "funishment", most often spanking. The Submissive would not dislike the punishment, but it would allow me to train her to be more self-confident; with a firm voice as well as a firm hand
SweetSpankable Posted November 29, 2019 Posted November 29, 2019 I’m in the same situation we went from seeing each other every week it’s been 4 months we still talk most days but as u mention a shift he says he still wants me just his job gets in the way it’s hard sometimes so now on here to make friends with others I did out right ask in the end you will need to do the same as we even as subs have to know where we stand good luck maybe life’s just getting in the way x
Recommended Posts