Submission

[Dirty_Boy123]

We all learn from our past experiences good or bad and that makes us stronger. The guys sounds a complete jerk. Submission is the greatest gift you can give. If you choose to give your heart and soul you must feel safe,loved and nurtured first. You are choosing to submit to them. A true Dom/ Mistress will always understand this and nurture your devotion giving you both such beautiful and rewarding experiences, with a bond that grows deeper and stronger by the day.
That guy is an idiot and a total embarassment.

[Seafarer]

Take your time and heal. To hell with everyone else.

[x2****]

Defo not true, Submission given is an honour and sign of real connection and trust those that demend it instantly without building or earning that trust ain't Doms they an ***r and yes i said what i said

[my****]

My opinion has always differed from others and tends to get me in trouble. I am of the opinion that as a submissive you are always submissive. That carries an understanding. You should be polite, caring, and attentive to anyone in the lifestyle. That does not make you a doormat, nor does it mean you have to fall to your knees with every self professed Dom. Your submission should be who you are independent of who you’re with. That said, even those who are damaged deserve respect, and you should never shy away from a conversation. I am of the opinion that when two people find each other their pasts won’t matter, it will just be easy and feel natural. Listen to your intuition and don’t worry about the kinkster blocking you. They saved you some time in finding out you weren’t a good match. On to the next.

[Pr****]

Everyone on this planet is damaged goods by that kinksters logic. Trauma of any level doesn’t differentiate between people. So heal all you need to because at the end of the day it’s your choice, and your life.

[Ki****]

First of all I think you dodged a bullet.
What you been told is beyond idiotic, to build connection and trust is paramount in this world and actually you should always beware of people that expect immediate submission like they some sort of God gift on earth.
You're absolutely fine.

[Davob1]

Without trust there's nothing
It takes as long as it takes

[Wantsaprincess]

Your thought is perfectly safe and normal. A genuine person should not expect that immediate complete submission. My thought is they are fishing.

[MissTakenDeep]

Ime, I’d completely avoid Doms like this. Especially when it’s so clear on your profile. It’s manipulation and you’ve swerved a bullet! There is absolutely no ‘right’ way to submit or to dominate, only our own individual needs & preferences. Stay strong on your boundaries, somebody who doesn’t earn your submission doesn’t understand what dominance is about.

[The_Rev_]

You'll discover from the comments you receive that you are absolutely right in feeling as you do. It's your body, your emotions, your lif.

Being submissive is not about being less than you are, quite the opposite. Subs are brave and courageous people, intelligent enough to know who they can trust and then giving the dom temporary responsibility for their pleasure.

A decent dom wants to use all of your gifts, talents, creativity and imagination. Only by being you can that happen.

Thus BDSM is ultimately a partnership based on trust and codependence.

Your instincts are right, your logic is sound. Those who can't grasp that are simply not worthy of your attention.

[jm****]

As so many have mentioned, you are not damaged. I'll repeat that, YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED. What you are expecting and requesting should be every single persons standard. In a vanilla relationship you don't submit immediately, and there's less "damage" to be done. When you find a true Dom, and possibly a Daddy Dom from what you've said, then you will see what we are all saying. Nurturing, care, compassion, trust, respect, honor, SAFETY!, security, and many other things will be offered freely by someone truly acting as a Dominant for you.

Someone that expects immediate submission is IMHO nothing more than an ***r and a misogynistic, egotistical child that gets their kicks from the "power" they "think" they hold. Any truly dominant, and honorable person will give you that time and put the effort in. You will feel everything you are looking for, and that is partly "why" your metaphorical switch flips and you are able to submit to someone. Furthering this, when they are taking care of you in the way you need, your little will feel safe and secure as well and be able to come out. There's a reason so many have and keep their little protected and never shown.

The damage and trauma that we learn throughout our journeys ultimately is what helps to protect and safeguard us. Someone like that blocking you is only for the best. They will end up hurting people, potentially many, and without others standing up it won't stop.

Your submission, and ultimately you being able to allow your little to come out, is the ultimate and purest compliment to someone that is a Dom, they will respect you and honor you for what that is and means.

So no, you are not damaged, you are beautiful and have more value and worth than you realize.

[Qu****]

That guy was def a douche. You gotta build trust and feel safe and there is no sure fault in you not immediately getting there cause he says so.

[De****]

We all carry some kind of baggage. If you encounter someone who denounces you for being "damaged", best thing to do is walk away from them. Be thankful he blocked you. He is the one "doing it wrong": he could have ended things kindly, but he decided to make you feel worse.

[cr****]

Seems to me you’re not damaged goods, but the person who blocked you may be. I’m new to this but everything I’ve heard and read put trust as a big part of it. You’re better off without someone who won’t build that. True in any relationship.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you to everyone who commented 🥺❤️ I appreciate it so much and I feel so much better !!! I guess I just let that comment get into my head way too much. Tankies !!!!! 🍓

[Ch****]

Trust and safety are the foundation of any and all relationships. If they can’t respect that, they’re HORRIBLE people. It doesn’t matter if it’s in a kink setting or not.

[ka****]

Dont be confused, go by your pace, thats right ;) good luck

[Deleted Member]

Thank u to everyone!!! 🥺❤️🍓

[St****]

That kinkster is wrong!!! He sounds like a huge red flag.🚩 Please feel very happy he blocked you!
You deserve to feel safe in your relationship! Anyone that tells you differently is not a good Dom! Please take good care of yourself.

[ki****]

Someone who says that screams FAKE DOM to me. Lots out there! Don’t let one arsehole drag you down!
You get fakes who use the word dominant thinking it allows them to *** you mentally and physically like a rag doll without even considering your emotions and discussing boundaries.
You’re worth so much more than that.

[Pi****]

A lot of narcs gravitate to the male dom role for obvious reasons - you dodged a bullet. There is no such thing as damaged goods.

[DemonCandy]

I relate to this so much. I haven't been hurt in bdsm, but have been in general, and I am also a bit demisexual so I can't just become submissive to someone on command. I like committed d/s relationships and they need the natural build-up.

[DemonCandy]

Btw, why most of the experienced and wise dominants live so far away from me? 😢

[Deleted Member]

Everyone is damaged in some way and this guy sounds like he's a child who's just upset he didn't get what he wants. A real dominant man is going to build you up and make you stronger. Only weak men need to put others down to feel strong.

[Th****]

No sounds like he’s a fake dom