Anyone with Aspergers

[Deleted Member]

Wondered who believes there is a link between autism and their fetishes/paraphilias. I have read a lot on the topic and as a person with aspergers I am prone to little obsessions and sex is one of them. I am hyper sensitive to what i see or touch and really like glam women because its an aesthetic explosion of colours and textures like big hair, red lips, leather skirts and satin fabrics. Im also Bi but less oriented that way and more inclined towards femboy type. I like show-offy type clothing and behaviours and sexy clothes are to me like the wearer is attracting attention in such a subtle but powerful way which fascinates me. I hate that the world seems so androgynous at times and more glam women are becoming rare ... could never be vanilla its just so boring - anyway im keen to hear if anyone with aspergers is similar

[Li****]

Hey, I'm an aspie :-)

[Phoenyx]

Asperger's?  Guilty as charged!  I have always wondered how many other "Aspies" might be in The Scene.  Honestly, I have never considered a possible connection between Autism and fetishes.  My issue, when I first came to the scene, was my inability to read "vibes"---those non-verbal cues like facial expression, voice inflection, body language, etc.  Made play from the dominant side all-but-impossible.  But, I found that I could learn to see those cues.  I wasn't blind to them---as autism theory would suggest.  I had simply never known of their existence.  So, I not only learned them, I became better at it than most.  The more practice, the better I got.  I even learned to pick up vibes from the words that people chose to use.

So, don't let Asperger's slow you down.  Your strong emotions and hyper-sensitive touch give you a distinct advantage.  It gave me my insatiable taste for leather.  Oh, and don't let some Dom or Domme tell you that there is no such thing as Asperger's---that it's nothing but "a dodge".  I have heard it before.  My response to those deniers is, "Kiss my backside!"

[Wo****]

My ldr is an aspie... his kink is giving.

He doesn't pick up on those non verbal clues so learnt. Because he is how he is, he learns stuff, to such a degree it takes my breath away.

For years he was misunderstood, i was blessed to meet him. His aspergers is a gift.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

As some with it its tough to read people.  

[Wo****]

Yes, it is but I've found people who are "on the spectrum" often learn more willingly and some of the deepest conversations I've had have been with aspies.

Personally I connect better with people that are considered different. I'm weird, I relate to others that are weird, different. I don't like "normal" what's normal anyway?

I wanna talk about dragons and myths. I want to fly. I want to dance naked in a thunderstorm and thank God I'm alive to experience all this. No restraints (other than when my Dom ties me up 😋)

I read a series of novels, the Geneive Lenard series. The heroine has aspergers, she studies body language and becomes world class. The authors understanding and portrayal of aspies was simply beautiful.

 

[Phoenyx]

3 hours ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

I read a series of novels, the Geneive Lenard series. The heroine has aspergers, she studies body language and becomes world class.

Exactly the point I was trying to make above.  The so-called "experts" on Autism, would have us believe that we are forever blind to such cues.  But, that is not the case.  It is not a matter of being blind---it is a matter of not knowing what to look for.  We never learned it instinctively, like allegedly "normal" folks.  So, we must use the conscious mind to learn it, as we would learn any other skill.  Eventually, with practice, the conscious mind will program the subconscious (again, as with any other skill).  We are now reading signals on two different levels---a distinct advantage.  Add-in our tendencies for laser-like focus, and you can see how someone could become "world class".

[Deleted Member]

This is all great to hear and so familiar. I always felt that i didnt know who i was - conditioning never really took like i was an empty vessel free to fluidly be whatever i want ... the obsessions seemed a curse til i embraced them then they became something i wouldnt want to live without ... i love being me when i actually can without neuro typicals expecting me to conform. I have no rules and hate societal norms in terms of expected behaviour ... fk that - spread your wings i say and let nothing be shocking provided its safe and legal and consensual. I kinda feel sorry for vanilla types i meet who say they havent had sex with their wives for 6 months cos it all got so samey and the clearly lack the resources to spice it up ... ***ful the other half will dismiss these ideas or worse. Me its all about the spice and it can make sex mindblowing and life in general as its always an integral part that can spread to the whole day being an adventure. In short i feel incredibly awake and in tune whilst i seem to see others doing whats ‘appropriate’ ... always seems so dull that way.... stay kinky

[Phoenyx]

26 minutes ago, Caveman3 said:

I kinda feel sorry for vanilla types i meet who say they havent had sex with their wives for 6 months cos it all got so samey and the clearly lack the resources to spice it up

Interesting that you should mention that.  Back in the day, I was amazed at how many "vanilla" types not only asked about the scene, but wished to seriously dabble as well.  More than once, a seemingly vanilla couple came to me, with the complaint that you described above.  The wife had decided to get a tuneup.  The afternoon sessions were pretty simple, nothing heavy---just enough stimulation to get her motor running.  After resting up, she would head for home, and await her husband's return from work.  Her intentions were to jump his bones as soon as he walked through the door, and f-- his brains out!  I almost had to feel sorry for the poor guy, as he was likely walking funny for the whole next week.

[Deleted Member]

26 minutes ago, phoenyx said:

Interesting that you should mention that.  Back in the day, I was amazed at how many "vanilla" types not only asked about the scene, but wished to seriously dabble as well.  More than once, a seemingly vanilla couple came to me, with the complaint that you described above.  The wife had decided to get a tuneup.  The afternoon sessions were pretty simple, nothing heavy---just enough stimulation to get her motor running.  After resting up, she would head for home, and await her husband's return from work.  Her intentions were to jump his bones as soon as he walked through the door, and f-- his brains out!  I almost had to feel sorry for the poor guy, as he was likely walking funny for the whole next week.

Yeah theres a lot out there who dress up for their men for a “treat” like valentines... why not 4 nights a week I think ? ... seems many men will masturbate to fantasies and maybe ladies too in those relationships instead of discussing their fantasies and living them if they can. Crazy ... but I get it - they dont wanna open up cans of worms. Really glad I dont care about that. Whenever I talk to vanillas they complain that their wives have given up and are always grumpy ... women say similar ... theres always a fix but its seldom found... thrills come by way of spending or eating/drinking. Lets face it NOTHING on this earth is better than a kink fuelled sex session but it seems to scare some, disgust some most likely intrigue some but they lack the guts and then theres the ones who have kinky thoughts and pay to get their kicks. Humans are weird arent they... In my life sex is the absolute centre of things and everything else is hunky dory as a knock on effect - partner is happy, weekends are great regardless of plans, mood is good and theres an ever present feeling of anticipation. Seems that for many its #10-20 on list of priorities somewhere under cars or golf   Fkn couldnt live that way

[Wo****]

You are a breath of fresh air 😊