Peptalk! How can i find the courage to go to my first BDSM Club Evening?

[Kaona]

Hi Everyone,

I am a switch, Bondage Fan and freshly single. I finally want to find the courage to go to a BDSM event - i do not have any friends to join me for that kind of event. Also i am plus-size, I never had trouble to find sex-partners but I am scared to be the only plus-size person in the club. Would love to hear experiences ans tips how to handle this insecuety - obvsly I deeply love my fullfigure body - I just don't want to feel weird in a room full of halfnaked thin people.

Pepptalk, own experiences with othering or feeling included in BDSM spaces and tipps to handle the anxiety very much welcome!

[englisgh is my third language, so please forgive missspelling ]

[ey****]

while things differ from location to location - most places I've been to have had people of all different ages, sizes, dynamics - the "real life" side of kink is a lot more diverse than some of the stereotypes portray. 

[Puddles333]

^^ What he said :) And events are all different too. Most of the ones I've seen were super casual and like, no play going on. People tend to be far less focused on what a person looks like than their interests and personality, I've found. And that full figured persons were common and very much adored <3 So yeah I say dive in! Most people and places I think will be super thrilled to meet someone new.

[Wo****]

Agree with whats been posted above.

I've been to a club twice now (with my Dom) and it was the best thing ever, honestly.

It was really friendly and laid back and i would say that there were at least a third of people there that weren't slim.

 

Go for it! Show yourself off and have fun. It really is worth doing.

 

[Deleted Member]

Dig deep and go and I do hope you find the courage to go and attend either on your own or with someone else ☺️

[Chelsey]

Courage? Well, maybe just a little is needed. Go in like it's a candy store. That's what it felt like to me. Just there to watch. Felt free. Maybe my eyes were dilated with interest. Dont let the name suggest I'm not male. I am. I have always wanted to see things I have never seen before. That alone motivated me - a sense of adventure.

[ya****]

Might be a bit late to the party, but so what?

Just go. Don't worry about being plus size or any other deviation from society's current "ideal" look. I have seen people of all shapes and sizes and ages at parties. As you said, you love your body - great. Self-confidence is the best thing to have when embarking on such an adventure.

Chelsey put t brilliantly:

On 12/21/2019 at 7:08 AM, Chelsey said:

Go in like it's a candy store.

Get dressed, feel beautiful. Soak up the vibe of the event. Look at people. Have a glass of champagne. If you like, dance. Look at people playing. Get ideas. Maybe get horny. Maybe chat to someone at the bar.

At the end of the day night, you were at a party, had (hopefully) fun, and all of that in an environment that catered to your sexual preferences.

You go, girl!

Edited December 22, 2019 by yanks_ropes
Punctuation. It's important. Also badgers.

[Kaona]

On 12/22/2019 at 7:20 PM, yanks_ropes said:

Might be a bit late to the party, but so what?

Just go. Don't worry about being plus size or any other deviation from society's current "ideal" look. I have seen people of all shapes and sizes and ages at parties. As you said, you love your body - great. Self-confidence is the best thing to have when embarking on such an adventure.

Chelsey put t brilliantly:

Get dressed, feel beautiful. Soak up the vibe of the event. Look at people. Have a glass of champagne. If you like, dance. Look at people playing. Get ideas. Maybe get horny. Maybe chat to someone at the bar.

At the end of the day night, you were at a party, had (hopefully) fun, and all of that in an environment that catered to your sexual preferences.

You go, girl!

Thats a very helpful perspective thank you so much! there is a starter events the next days and i might will go ther to finally try it out :)

[Phoenyx]

The first time I went to a fetish event (many years ago) I literally had to *** myself through the door.  It felt really strange---for about the first minute or two.  After that, I just felt at home.  It was kind of like jumping into a swimming pool on a hot day.  Once the shock of the water temp wears-off, it feels quite comfortable.

Don't worry about being the only plus-size there.  You won't be!  In fact, there is an excellent article on this subject, in the website's magazine section.  Look for the article titled: "Our Top Five Body-Positive Tips for Building Self-Esteem".  Hope this helps.