What's the best kink to start for beginners

[UK****]

On 6/9/2024 at 6:53 PM, Openmindednerd767 said:

What would you all say is the best and easy kink to get into since starting from vanilla?

Some good advice already, however, I want to clarify something.  Are you asking about you starting or you starting with a current partner?

[my****]

Yesterday at 08:28 AM, subbyguppi said:

Choking, can start with just softly putting your hand around their neck or vice versa, I feel like it establishes dominance and control while also not being ***ful. But look up how to do it properly so you’re safe.

Choking is where you start? No shitty fuzzy cuffs or barehanded spanking, but choking?

I disagree. The place to start is with porn. We’re visual creatures. Find something that turns you on and then figure out how to get there from where you are. Maybe you like the idea of full suspension, the way there is being cuffed or restrained to a bed. It’s a process and requires experienced partners. Safewords and safe grabs are important. There always needs to be a way to remove consent, like an emergency stop button on a machine.

[Da****]

22 hours ago, Coco_De_Leche said:

*this wide (this app needs an edit function)

No kidding… it’s really weird that there isn’t one…

[Da****]

Yesterday at 05:50 AM, Matt4u4305 said:

Best advice I can give you is to get out while you can. Once you enter the world of kink you will always be chasing the next “high “. You will become desensitized over time and this will cause problems in future romantic relationships. God forbid you fall in love with a woman that is more vanilla and not willing to explore kinks you will eventually find yourself looking outside that relationship to fulfill your kinky desires.

The best thing you can do is avoid sites like this , avoid porn. Otherwise you will never be sexually satisfied with anyone that isn’t also into kink and even then they may never be kinky enough for you.

Why do you say this? I don’t agree at all and think this is a VERY (unnecessarily) pessimistic view that can scare people away from pleasure as well as empowering themselves…

your personal issues and/or experience isn’t guaranteed to be the same as everyone else’s.

I sincerely wonder how do you not realize that? (Especially if you’ve been a part of this community for a while like it sounds like from your message…🤯)

Hope that you can try to be more positive as it will make your life more enjoyable for yourself AND everyone else who’s a part of it as well…

[ey****]

4 hours ago, mythicalman said:

The place to start is with porn. We’re visual creatures. Find something that turns you on and then figure out how to get there from where you are

just always remember from porn.   Even the most authentic porn lacks context.  It is usually people experienced in kink, the camera doesn't tell nearly the full picture - kinda if something turns you on, then don't try to copy verbatim - use it as something to research further 

 

[Deleted Member]

6 hours ago, mythicalman said:

Choking is where you start? No shitty fuzzy cuffs or barehanded spanking, but choking?

I disagree. The place to start is with porn. We’re visual creatures. Find something that turns you on and then figure out how to get there from where you are. Maybe you like the idea of full suspension, the way there is being cuffed or restrained to a bed. It’s a process and requires experienced partners. Safewords and safe grabs are important. There always needs to be a way to remove consent, like an emergency stop button on a machine.

I disagree. The visual creature part works only for men when it comes to sexuality and arousal.
For a woman, or at least for me, reading me an exciting story is so much more arousing than watch another person getting naked, oil up or whatever not even gonna mention the penetration focused porn out there.

So mentioning this, the point to start might be talking. Dirty talk during sex. Tell each other about your fantasies. What do you dream of doing with your partner. Maybe she agrees and you can start doing it right away.

[Erin1989]

5 hours ago, big-baby-berlin said:

I disagree. The visual creature part works only for men when it comes to sexuality and arousal.
For a woman, or at least for me, reading me an exciting story is so much more arousing than watch another person getting naked, oil up or whatever not even gonna mention the penetration focused porn out there.

So mentioning this, the point to start might be talking. Dirty talk during sex. Tell each other about your fantasies. What do you dream of doing with your partner. Maybe she agrees and you can start doing it right away.

I agree with this. Men are usually visual. I'd suggest taking them through a site like the categories page of a sex stories site (many out there) & let them pick and read. I'm a reader myself and they've literally have stories about EVERYTHING. She's had sex and human beings are curious by nature. So maybe she's always wondered what it was like to have two men? Or maybe she'd wonder what it was like to be a dominatrix and get her pleasure fulfilled first. The questions, scenarios and possibilities are endless. And eventually, they can make their way into masturbation fantasis, conversation and role play, then one day brought to life.

[di****]

Romance novels are female porn... many expect a man to follow the chick flick. Or wedding vows that a guy never lives up too. Helps to provide multple orgasms when she is in subspace many endorphins in her head . Last time you gave her a dozen orgasms? Then you can discuss fantasies . I hired an escort to teach me when i was 33 yo.

[zu****]

Eating ass

[Cu****]

On 6/10/2024 at 3:50 PM, Matt4u4305 said:

Best advice I can give you is to get out while you can. Once you enter the world of kink you will always be chasing the next “high “. You will become desensitized over time and this will cause problems in future romantic relationships. God forbid you fall in love with a woman that is more vanilla and not willing to explore kinks you will eventually find yourself looking outside that relationship to fulfill your kinky desires.

The best thing you can do is avoid sites like this , avoid porn. Otherwise you will never be sexually satisfied with anyone that isn’t also into kink and even then they may never be kinky enough for you.

 

[Cu****]

Ok so I am completely new to all

this and just reading forums and gaining information but I’m confused, if your so against this whole lifestyle and kink then why are you even on the site and also replying and putting 

posts like this one on here? If it’s so bad why are you still on it? 
 

And encouraging someone to walk away from something that could give them something they are missing in their lives and settling is wrong! 😑 

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, Curiouslykinked said:

Ok so I am completely new to all

this and just reading forums and gaining information but I’m confused, if your so against this whole lifestyle and kink then why are you even on the site and also replying and putting 

posts like this one on here? If it’s so bad why are you still on it? 
 

And encouraging someone to walk away from something that could give them something they are missing in their lives and settling is wrong! 😑 

It might be a serious warning. For some people it’s kind of addictive, and maybe he ended up doing things he would never have liked to do, but needs to do them now, as he said to get the next „high“. So he’s just giving a warning in advance, because it’s hard to go back once you’ve started it

[Deleted Member]

Or he’s just a troll 😉

[MasterDarcy1979]

It's not an easy question to answer. There's no "A-Z of BDSM"

 

It's really all about the individual.

 

I don't think there is a real answer to this. It's not like there's a "BDSM 101" or anything.

 

Some people begin with fully clothed spanking and there are some people who begin with CNC.

 

It's a question you've got to ask yourself.