How do you want to feel?

[Re****]

A great question to ask your sub before you begin a scene is: How do you want to feel?

Think about how differently you would act if your sub wants to feel ***, ashamed, pathetic, adored, or objectified.

For that matter, as a Dom how do you want to feel? Powerful? Worshipped? Cruel? ***ed?

What's your favorite way to feel during a scene?

[Asphx62]

That’s a very good bit of advice! ☺️👍

[ReddBeardd]

I've never thought about that before. I've asked how DO you feels, but not how do you WANT to feel. I think that's something to try .

[Gi****]

That’s brilliant!

[Da****]

When I have a session, any kind. This is the exact conversation you should have. There is no way to get them in a hard “sub space” with out a detailed plan.
To break them down to the core and build them up to the sub they are meant to become.

[Deleted Member]

Seems to me if you don’t know how your partner likes it, you should probably get out of the bedroom, go on a date and communicate more

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, DaddyRI said:

When I have a session, any kind. This is the exact conversation you should have. There is no way to get them in a hard “sub space” with out a detailed plan.
To break them down to the core and build them up to the sub they are meant to become.

“The sub they are meant to become “

She was a sub long before she let you touch her with those melodramatic hands

[Re****]

29 minutes ago, mdubgetsdown said:

Seems to me if you don’t know how your partner likes it, you should probably get out of the bedroom, go on a date and communicate more

Exactly, if you don't communicate with your partner you won't know how they like it, and expecting someone to guess or just know is unrealistic

[di****]

Does sub know what subspace? Does Dom know after care?

[di****]

Explaining subspace is like explaining an orgasm to a virgin.
A cunt class is great for women who have never had an orgasm.

[ge****]

Hypothetical: What if they say they don’t know? Lack the ability or willingness to articulate their desires verbally? Or “however you want me to feel”

[Re****]

21 minutes ago, gentleish said:

Hypothetical: What if they say they don’t know? Lack the ability or willingness to articulate their desires verbally? Or “however you want me to feel”

Well, if your sub can't or won't communicate their desires you can try a few things and see what pushes the right buttons! That can be fun too 😁

[Da****]

When I have a vanilla sub, I show them the 🍦menu. Pick 3 and I add a few in my self, when the cravings become a daily thing for them, we add 3 more. Usually 2 meets. I can get them in a dumb “sub space” ..

[Bi****]

I like to feel worshipped

[Deleted Member]

On 6/14/2024 at 5:05 PM, Restlessness said:

A great question to ask your sub before you begin a scene is: How do you want to feel?

Think about how differently you would act if your sub wants to feel ***, ashamed, pathetic, adored, or objectified.

For that matter, as a Dom how do you want to feel? Powerful? Worshipped? Cruel? ***ed?

What's your favorite way to feel during a scene?

Your answer is in the explanation and questions...

To feel cared for, safe, comfortable, understood and able to talk to the partner about anything as every session is a different head space.

That's my view and experience from dom and sub or caregiver and little/middle 

[Deleted Member]

Thursday at 01:08 PM, gentleish said:

Hypothetical: What if they say they don’t know? Lack the ability or willingness to articulate their desires verbally? Or “however you want me to feel”

You explain that won’t work and if your partner really wants to please you they will try their best to communicate

[Deadalus]

yeah, good idea to check what is desired or liked before beginning your scene of play .. or wanted, it can only get better from there on .. always with care is the best no matter how rough or hard it may be.. always be spot on and work with the proper emotionr or touch the proper emotions and feelings indeed .. and as a dom i would never ask or speak up but do what i want to do without saying it, making it kind of a surprise and if your partner would be able to sense her emotions melting with her desires steerd by yours ..and meet you halfway than you are doing a great job i am sure.. sometimes you need to not always say the full details but add up emotionally even during a scene or sex .. feelings and emotions are the best sense people can experience sometimes more than physical touching only.. but we all know that i think.

[Re****]

As long as you have discussed doing something in particular before and gotten consent to do that thing, cool, but please don't just do whatever you want with a sub without asking. That's against some very basic principles of healthy BDSM relationships.

[Ku****]

As a sub I want to feel controlled, humiliated, and submitted

[tv****]

Yes love detailed few limits role play

[ki****]

That's a really great question. Totally different context with a question like that too. It gives a better direction for both sides, and with ensuring the goal is reached.

[Dorsetstrider76]

Great question and one that stimulated some introspection rather than just a response.

It would very much depend on my partner. With a male partner I long for feeling shame, embarrassment, ***, *** and a sense of being used.

With female partners I am usually far more dominant (Although occasionally switching for variety's sake) as a result my feelings and needs are totally different. Under these circumstances I want to feel adored, worshipped, strong and respected and maybe loved to the point that there is literally nothing they would not just to make me happy.

I am not a psychologist but now I think about it I wonder could this be a result of how little genuinely unconditional love men experience in the "normal" world?