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How do you want to feel?


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I love this. I think those questions culminate the open communication that’s key to a healthy dynamic. I mean, most times people talk in generalities and assume that what’s been said is the case for all experiences but how great to be asked what you’d like to feel today, right now, in tho scene. I know my mood changes daily so why wouldn’t my wants or needs as well. As for my partner, I think I can do better and include more of this line of thinking into our dialog. I shouldn’t assume that because he’s dominant that he doesn’t want or need different from me either.
(edited)

I want to feel powerful and confident.

I would want my sub to feel 😱

Edited by TheMacabreBrat
Typo
I absolutely love this post and the beautiful nuance it brings to the dynamic between Dom and sub. This idea of asking, 'How do you want to feel?' is such a powerful way to foster connection and ensure that each interaction feels fulfilling and authentic.

I really resonate with other commentors pointing out about how moods and needs can shift day to day. Some days, I want to be made to feel small and utterly ***, and other days, I crave feeling adored, like a treasure. Sometimes it’s about being chased and hunted, but other times, I want to feel completely wooed. There’s no predictable pattern—it’s just the ebb and flow of emotion and life.

What’s truly special to me is the opportunity to build this kind of dynamic where communication is key, but over time, mutual understanding grows. I was with my last Dom for eight years, and toward the later years, he almost never had to ask because he could sense my moods, sometimes even before I fully recognized them myself. That level of attunement felt like magic to me, and I’ve often wondered if it was unique to us or if it’s something anyone can achieve when both people prioritize the other’s needs and pleasure above their own.

It’s so encouraging to think that this level of connection isn’t just rare but possible when there’s real work and care poured into the relationship. Threads like this remind me how important it is to stay intentional and communicative with a partner—it’s not just about being submissive or dominant; it’s about being present for each other in all right ways.
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