How would you stop sub frenzy

[su****]

If you could tell a potential sub was getting impatient and having sub frenzy. How do you as a Dom calm them without taking advantage?

[MasterKama23]

Different techniques based on the type of frenzy, few things that i have personly seen be helpful are breathing exercises (long deep breaths), writing down the causes and thoughts going through subs head at that very moment, having sub draw and/ or ***t or craft or do some chores like vacuum, and in case dom and sub are close then a warm oil massage session ( genuine massage) ALWAYS seem to do the trick. Curious to see what others suggest has worked!

[Sa****]

What has worked for me is when I’m to breathe, relax, and I’m reassured

[Pe****]

*disclaimer, these are only my opinions and own experience*
I had this with someone I was getting to know via messaging. From the start he had sub frenzy. I told him what I expected from him ie good etiquette and a calm demeanour.
I gave him several chances before I had to block him as he just wouldn’t listen.
So it all depends on what stage in the dynamic you are talking about.
Starting off getting to know someone or if it’s happening in an established dynamic.

[su****]

1 hour ago, PervyPenelope said:

*disclaimer, these are only my opinions and own experience*
I had this with someone I was getting to know via messaging. From the start he had sub frenzy. I told him what I expected from him ie good etiquette and a calm demeanour.
I gave him several chances before I had to block him as he just wouldn’t listen.
So it all depends on what stage in the dynamic you are talking about.
Starting off getting to know someone or if it’s happening in an established dynamic.

Thank you. Can sub frenzy still happen in an established dynamic? I thought it was all the new stuff and rushing. I am however extremely new to the lifestyle and mid research. I'd rather be informed ready to batt the wannabes out my inbox.

[su****]

2 hours ago, MasterKama23 said:

Different techniques based on the type of frenzy, few things that i have personly seen be helpful are breathing exercises (long deep breaths), writing down the causes and thoughts going through subs head at that very moment, having sub draw and/ or ***t or craft or do some chores like vacuum, and in case dom and sub are close then a warm oil massage session ( genuine massage) ALWAYS seem to do the trick. Curious to see what others suggest has worked!

Thank you. So all very mindfulness tasks really. That's good to know.

[MasterKama23]

Yes, definately. And it has to be intentional by the dom, with reassurance and affirmation for the sub , almost overdoing if needed because it may sound weird and a hard concept to grasp by many (including 'doms'), but a dom also exists to serve the sub, its mutual support brining out the best of eachs strengths. Hope it helps and good luck exploring.

[Pe****]

9 hours ago, sublooking4dom4 said:

Thank you. Can sub frenzy still happen in an established dynamic? I thought it was all the new stuff and rushing. I am however extremely new to the lifestyle and mid research. I'd rather be informed ready to batt the wannabes out my inbox.

What do you mean by sub frenzy? Are you talking about “doms” being pushy??

[su****]

8 minutes ago, PervyPenelope said:

What do you mean by sub frenzy? Are you talking about “doms” being pushy??

I've heard about how the sub can become very giddy and wants to do everything and anything with no thought to their limits. Thanks for replying again. I'm learning all I can before I step in as I do not want to have crap mental health from someone who isn't the real deal

[Pe****]

9 minutes ago, sublooking4dom4 said:

I've heard about how the sub can become very giddy and wants to do everything and anything with no thought to their limits. Thanks for replying again. I'm learning all I can before I step in as I do not want to have crap mental health from someone who isn't the real deal

No problem! It’s good that you’re doing research so as not to get caught up with someone that’ll take advantage of you.

[D0****]

Subfrenzy can be a bitch it’s like rose colored glasses when your getting into a bad relationship you don’t want to see the red flags. The fact that you’re asking questions is a great first step. I highly recommend in your local community going to munches attending classes and play parties yes it takes a while to get going but it will give you access to people who have a good idea of what they are doing and a better standpoint of understanding

[Ri****]

In a lot of cases, I've always taken things slow when it comes to newer subs. If I notice the signs, then I make sure to temper expectations and explain that we are doing one thing at a time. Pushing boundaries comes later, and it's best to learn what is liked before jumping in the deep end to things they are definitely not ready for. To sum it up? Talking them through it and explaining we'll get to it but making certain they understand that we're doing things at a pace both of us are comfortable with.

[D0****]

It might take some of the “fun” of the moment out of it but it’s like do you put a new driver figuring out gas from break pedal in a drag race

[su****]

4 minutes ago, D00mkitty said:

It might take some of the “fun” of the moment out of it but it’s like do you put a new driver figuring out gas from break pedal in a drag race

Thank you. I'd rather take things slow and make sure im safe. I've wanted something more for a while but thought i was just a bit feral

[D0****]

2 hours ago, sublooking4dom4 said:

Thank you. I'd rather take things slow and make sure im safe. I've wanted something more for a while but thought i was just a bit feral

No not feral the craving for the real rawness of it all and subspace is almost like a drug. It’s the only time my mind is truly free. But learn from my mistakes vet vet vet vet and vet some more before possibly planing with someone unsafe I have the mental and physical scars to prove that sub frenzy can hurt.

[ey****]

22 hours ago, sublooking4dom4 said:

Thank you. Can sub frenzy still happen in an established dynamic?

yes

sub frenzy can happen at almost any time

for example - I dunno - you're with a long term sub and you go to a demo, workshop, kink event, whatever - and there's something there that makes the brain go 'ooh' it can be like "oh, me wanna try-ee" or thinking up all sorts of scenarios to go with it

 

[Deleted Member]

Communication and honesty, talking helps massively

[Submissy]

I get this a lot and glad I read this !! :)

[Du****]

Hello

[su****]

I've recently experienced this and I didn't recognise it. Things were moving so fast I felt giddy. Glad had some people watching out for me

[Deleted Member]

Ok so I gave this some thought; To manage a sub experiencing sub frenzy without taking advantage… you need empathy, clear boundaries, and communication.
explicitly setting boundaries and expectations up front to manage excitement and establish a safe pace.
Encourage open dialogue about feelings and experiences to help them process their emotions.
Gradually slow down the pace when you sense the mania to prevent overwhelming them. Communicate importance of pacing, and awareness of their impulses.
reassurance and support, validating their feelings and guiding them towards a more measured approach.
And aftercare, for as long as necessary until they feel grounded and safe, emphasizing the importance of thier emotional and physical well-being in your dynamic.

[Openminded-1765]

Wow. I would bet that this sounds so familiar and AND I know of you and massage is best when knotty. Careful of releasing toxins