bu**** Posted June 23 Posted June 23 physical attraction is definitely an important part of a relationship to me. if my partner isn’t attracted to me and i’m not attracted to them at all it won’t be a very fulfilling relationship. as a chunkier girl ive been with guys who “don’t mind” a bigger girl and guys who love them. the ones who love them is very obvious,, because they have more physical attraction they make you feel so much more beautiful and secure in yourself. i feel like being in a relationship with my partner and feeling like they weren’t physically attracted to me would make me incredibly insecure and bad for my mental health, even with a good emotional bond. but at the same time i don’t feel like attraction is solely based on physical appearance, and the concept of beauty is so subjective. there’s people out there who don’t find supermodels attractive, and those who do.
IW**** Posted June 23 Posted June 23 Physical attraction and preferences are hardwired into our DNA. It’s difficult to overcome that. For me, yes it’s definitely a factor. I have a fairly wide range of what I find attractive, but beyond that range, my interest drops rapidly.
Hannah79 Posted June 23 Posted June 23 2 hours ago, IWillWorshipYou said: Physical attraction and preferences are hardwired into our DNA. It’s difficult to overcome that. For me, yes it’s definitely a factor. I have a fairly wide range of what I find attractive, but beyond that range, my interest drops rapidly. Hello handsome,how are you doing today?
Co**** Posted June 23 Posted June 23 Even though there are vast and varied perceptions of attractiveness… a physical attraction is very important to me. To connect and create stimulating play scenarios - I need visual fodder. For me, it is the physicality of how one looks, projects and holds themselves that will always draw my initial attention. However…there is nothing more un-stimulating and unattractive than persons who have no substance beyond their looks. My interest is lost completely if the person lacks personality, provides no mental stimulus, interest or intrigue etc. the things I req. to build chemistry and connection. Contradictory to that; I have had engaged with persons who on meeting I have felt no physically attraction to, but they have (personality, intrigue etc.) provided an interest. If a play has resulted from this, it has defiantly required greater effort on my part and been less satisfying and less physically stimulating.
Deleted Member Posted June 23 Posted June 23 17 hours ago, LadyV said: Well, it depends: If I'm just doing casual pick-up play at a dungeon to Top someone for some kink for fun, I tend not to care about attraction. A body to beat is a body to beat. If I'm having someone as a regular platonic play partner, then a little attraction is preferable but not required. Friends I Top frequently are still just friends. If I intend on having a long-term committed romantic/sexual relationship, then yes, me being attracted to them is very important. lol
ci**** Posted June 24 Posted June 24 Unless they want something long term it’s not incredibly important. They just have to feel nice enough for me to come back.
Go**** Posted June 24 Posted June 24 I love this question. I don't have a particular type for who I'm attracted to. There is just something I can't put my finger on and can't explain it. I've dated and had play partners that are completely different in looks to each other, but that "thing" was always there. Curvy, skinny, muscular, BBW, goths, metallers, punks, sporty types, the list goes on and on. I'm not a looker in the slightest, and until the last 12-18 months was incredibly fortunate to have some amazing play partners. I'd have to say, that if there is that "thing", it's all good for me.
Un**** Posted June 27 Posted June 27 Physical attraction is either a kink for me or just necessary. It starts from how I react to my eyes deciding they like what they see, then my mind wanting to encounter yours and spar. See what and how you respond in conversation or messages. Connection and attraction are the foundation for me D/s the bricks and mortar I’ve spent far too long in my life without the right elements being in place. Relationships failing because of things lacking that I thought I’d be able to overlook No one should settle
Deleted Member Posted June 27 Posted June 27 It depends on the mood. If I'm not physically attractive I probably would need something to get me started like dirty talk or a role playing.
Hungrymonk Posted July 4 Posted July 4 Absolutely depends on the personal chemistry. That for me makes or breaks the attraction, I need to speak to someone to know if I will find them attractive.
Mu**** Posted October 16 Posted October 16 Attraction is very important to me. It’s a 50/50 split, if I have no attraction I can’t play. I can still indulge even if i don’t have an attraction. Certain things like eye contact, kissing or touching i can’t engage in. Even things being cummed on by a person in not into feelings gross. I kind turn in to a pillow princess, not wanting to put in the same effort. Mentally I can mess me up and even kill my sex drive.
Co**** Posted October 23 Posted October 23 I have indulged in some sort of play with someone I wasn't physically attracted to, a couple of times. Mainly because the kinky side of things and how keyed up I was I guess, outweighed how they looked. But genuinely yes.......there has to be an attraction. Not necessarily dashing good-looking......but personality. That certain something...... And yes people can ' grow on you'.....where you fall for the whole person. I could play in a scenario if I was with ' the main' one......and it was part of the kink to play.....offer service to someone who may not be attractive. I think !
Deleted Member Posted October 27 Posted October 27 I’ve indulged with men a few times despite being a full lesbian— it’s something I can do in the scope of play, and specifically with a particular fetish I feel they can mentor me in, but it’s definitely a different experience, and a potentially imbalanced one too, if your partner is attracted to you but you aren’t. All in all I’d say go into it laying it like it is: this is play, not more. Set firm boundaries like no kissing, no PiV or whatever you’re uncomfortable with.
Pocket_Sand Posted October 28 Posted October 28 Yes I need some sort of physical attraction. You don't need to look like a model or super star.
tw**** Posted November 4 Posted November 4 Depends on the play. Impact play I much more liberal with who I’d play with. However ones things get between the thighs I get more selective.
Deleted Member Posted November 4 Posted November 4 No matter what, EVERYONE has a physical preference. It doesn't matter if you're straight, gay, lesbian, trans, etc. You'll always have your preferences, and certain physical attributes will turn you on more than others. I believe it's more a matter of "restrictiveness". What I mean by this is that it varies from person to person depending on how strict they are about what they'll accept physically. Some people are extraordinarily self-absorbed, so they'll settle for nothing less than huge tits, or 8 pack abs, perfect jawline, etc. However, others are much more lenient and have general preferences that aren't absurdly intolerable and rare. I.e. it's in the eye of the beholder, but there will always be a physical attraction first.
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