How often does this happen

[No****]

Not that I came here looking for a relationship, ive been alone so long id be shocked if anyone liked me. Howeva… im curious… (i see a lot of vanilla men or feminine men message me) how many of yall wre here trying to find a relationship? Or do men have 5 women now at a time? Im scared to touch anyone cause i think they have a ton of people. So i basically quit cause stds risk is so high. So second question how do u handle the insane high std risk that is modern dating/fet/sext whatever.

[Deleted Member]

Play it safe it's all you can do I understand exactly what you're saying you never know people are nuts

[se****]

If it bothers you just stay with one play partner 🤗 also some people are here purely for fantasy so don’t think everyone is out there every single night 😁

[vi****]

Have virtual sex, request for STD testing result before intercourse, and play it safe. Otherwise utilize the services of a dildo and sex toys.

[Deleted Member]

I agree I just want someone to control my toy and play on cam I'm too far away for half the people anyway

[Redscout57]

I feel that, I try to message someone to get to know them but they only want to sell content, but I wish you luck, I would love to get to know you and love to date you but I think I might be to young for you :/

[E-dUbBs]

I’m searching for a longer term connection but I believe in letting whatever happens happen
A ltr always starts the same as every other relationship so I don’t try not to apply that pressure to whatever happens

[Devilsghost]

Well I dnt sleep around much and most of the time u will know if u pay attention if some one has somethung but I tell a.person uo front if u lie to.me and I catch something u gonna catch something tjat ends you in the hospital that's nothing to.play with and it's hard to find someone that wants a relationship why I'm still single

[Am****]

30 single for few year. I’m looked for anything. Maybe you should be open to trying thing and open you view point. Maybe u should get to know that man first. How do u know the men were vanilla. ?? I come off as timid and shy to you get my naked and having fun. Next think I push u up the wall nightly chock u and stand damming u hard. I’m not sex talker I show it better through touch and sex.

[JD****]

...75% LESS then the total number of guys u girls are talking to. STDs have And will continue to be a concern. Don't think it's anymore "rampant" or whatever term u used

[Thebull78]

I came looking for a relationship and I’m Dom and I Haven’t hooked up with anyone from this site.So there’s men out here as your looking for.This is the first time I’m even seeing your profile.DM sent let’s chat and have some fun.

[Swtichlife]

Just like anywhere there are a lot of fake people. I don't think that everyone sleeps around as much as you think. They may play but in this lifestyle it doesn't always lead to sex. I don't sleep around for the same reason you have stated. In all honesty disease is a real thing safety first. That being said if you're always afraid to look or try how do you get over your ***? Friendships are relationships and they start by sending a message or saying hey to get to know someone. On the other side of that men get tired of trying to reach out to women to get ignored or.sold.content. trying to find a relationship that's real with a submissive or.dominant woman is just as hard in my opinion for us as it is for you.

[Darkwolfct]

I came looking for a sub, I only have my wife ,who is my babygirl, just looking for one other partner, that will maybe play with us both, and or individually

[Deleted Member]

I wasn’t here to find a relationship, got one nevertheless. You never know what happens.
Nowadays I am here mostly for an intellectual exchange, to stay updated.

For the second question, my solution has always been being very picky. I am on this forum for many years already, but only ever met three people from here (one of them is my wife now).

[Julz901]

Do Men have 5 women at the same time? Only the top % maybe. Those usually get/have most women.
The vast majority, especially the more sub men struggle with women i'd say, because there are very few dominant women while there are many sub men.

STD are always a topic, however i think its overrated. Be smart and careful, but dont let *** dictate your actions :)

[Sp****]

Do guys have 5 women at the same time? I’ve been on here a month and I’ve managed to strike up one conversation. I’d recommend just sending guys you’re interested in a message and starting up a conversation. They will love you for it.

As for STDs.. be safe and test. Have partners test and have your partners partner test if your ENM.

[My****]

60+% of adults get hpv at some point in there life. It's estimated roughly 70% of adults worldwide have hsv. Always be safe. I work luckily at a place as a cna where I can get screened for free and frequently do. Not everyone has that luxury. However if someone is already paying to get a hotel to play what's doing a health check gonna do to the bank? Now if you're exclusive playmates then one check every 6 months due to hpv being dormant and you as a woman having cervical cancer to worry about potentially is an acceptable agreement in my opinion. If someone has partners beyond me wether it's a husband, boyfriend, or other doms then I want sti checks with more frequency, and after any new partner. People lie this is how sti's spread, or in the case of hsv a breakout takes a while to come, and hpv can be dormant but still spread. Precautions are fine to have set as part of your boundaries before you play.

[ge****]

Find it interesting that the thread so far is mostly full of men telling the OP to just go for it and variations of the same, or using it for the usual "no-one responds" type comments.
.
And yes I get the irony that yes I'm another male contributing.
.
OP to answer your first question, people are in sites like this for a variety of different reasons, for some it's easy sex and hook ups, for others it's for something more relationship oriented, and then various things in between - the key is finding those that are genuinely* looking for the same as you, and you can only do that by reading their profiles, getting to know them a little through messages, the forums etc - but always maintaining your guard against those that may be being economical with the truth (*hence my use of "genuinely" further up.).
.
As for STIs, yes it's a risk, and it's down to you to decide what is an acceptable risk for you - and to do that you need to educate yourself about the various STIs and how to guard against them - add into that regular testing for yourself (every 3 months is the recommended regularity) and whilst you may not avoid them completely you are at least protecting yourself to a degree. Condom use is obviously a good way to protect yourself, BUT it doesn't completely protect you either - for example HPV and HSV can be passed on by skin to skin contact from areas a condom doesn't cover, likewise if you practice oral without a condom it's a risk.
.
Also just because someone can show you a clean set of test results it doesn't actually mean they are STI free - the results are an indication of the day they took the test only - if they had sex since then, or even within window periods before the test they may still have an STI.
.
So sexual health is about taking responsibility for your own sexual health more than anything - you cannot 100% *know* a partner is clean so you have to weigh up those risks for yourself.

[ey****]

  1 hour ago, Nonnahs said:

So second question how do u handle the insane high std risk that is modern dating/fet/sext whatever.

Expand  

I test, regularly.  Even though most stuff I do with others is low risk.  Taking care of your own testing/results is most reliable.

But while it could happen; in the last few years I've not had unprotected penetrative sex with someone other than my wife

[Mr****]

Still never had sti. But it's possible your applying some distortion with some assumptions? Men account for 80% on here. And around the same for others apps. Men have a lot of competition to work through to get a women. Because of that we would need to be talking to many to get a possible shot with 1. In those chats if we are genuine, be honest we are talking to others and say what we're looking for. Yes many want a relationship because there are so few kinky women available to the amount of men looking for partner. So prefer something regular over now and then and have the stress of finding new partners when most women ghost these days.

So seeking a relationship isn't a bad thing if you fit well together.

And yes a man would have chats open because from our exp we can put weeks of effort in to a girl and 90% chats we get ghosted. So it's highly frustrating. So we have to just treat all as possible and treat equally until we actually meet. Until meeting we can't favour one over another just because so many had seem very good but still got ghosted.

So unless you're talking to a buff hunk with big manhood. Who would be picking up all the interest and would be spreading std. The likely hood on the opposite side for us not so hunky men is that we arnt having 5 partners at all.
You would have a few well established groups who have packs and go to events. Who do share and poly. But they Tend to advertise this so not unknown.

[ad****]

I think the Topic of STD and STI hav bin Covered up Above Far better than I would be able to do 👍 so I’ll talk to talking to Multiple girls. Me I am monogamous so wen I start talking to a partner they are the one I put all my effort into. (do I wish I was Polly yes but it’s not how my mind currently operates) as for messaging I will send A lot of messages out but if me and the potential partner are having a good time my Focus has shifted onto them 👍 basically if the idea of a serious relationship is coming up they’re the only one I’m pursuing ☺️ I hope this helps in sum way.

[Fe****]

I would love a genuine bdsm lifestyle and relationship bit is hard to find someone to match. I myself have been single some time now as when you upen up about fetishes etc a lot run the other way without knowing much. It is a shame but hopecully one day we find that true forever person

[gr****]

Well I would suggest talking and getting to kno people first. I kno. I don’t like to have sex with random people. I don’t like having a ton of sexual partners. Then BDSM don’t always have to sexual. But I think it’s more likely to go out and sleep with some1 at a club or bar. Cuz that’s normally what they do go out with the goal of sex. And in heat of moment they don’t care don’t know you so probly won’t disclose if they have something. But mainly you don’t want herps or hiv. You can get rapid test strips for hiv n 1 n 3 people have herps n most don’t even kno. I’ve had herps for 6 years been in two relashinships the whole time and probly 6 different people I sleep with on n off over the years. But I havnt giving it to any1 ..about 3 times a year I have a breakout and just let it b known. I mean its a lot better then bleeding every month but idk just inspect and communication is always key

[da****]

i agree with asak420034 when the one shows to be the choice of a partner focus goes more to them

[fe****]

I'm just here to post pics. If anyone were to try to chat I wouldn't know what to do or even really how, even tho part of me is hoping for a friend, my hopes aren't very high. So I post pics, and maybe I get a like or two.