Co dependency no more but still a Dom to brat relationship

[va****]

Hi I have been struggling with this idea of my brat needs me to always be on my A game and I actually am usually chillen and on my A game but she thinks I'm not and so she tries to be a brat to get me there and sometimes it works but sometimes it's just disrespectful and we become co dependent on so much like energy taking ... She can be so chill but if I become chill she will like come by and try to *** me... And I get pissed b/c she only does it because she wants me to be daddy, but I'm most daddy when I'm calm and not pissed or feel disrespected... Any advice

[Jo****]

Hard question . Brats can do this . It can be a frustrating point . Communication on what they are actually expecting . Giving them more of what they are desiring and ways to communicate how they are feeling .
If they need you to be a daddy more then u can identity that and provide what they are asking .
One thing I forgot and now have the foresight is they have responsibility to you as a daddy and your needs to .

[va****]

Yah that's definitely true

[va****]

Thank you

[he****]

I’ve got some on this topic, kinda in the same boat as you. I’ll get back to this later when I’m off work

[Ol****]

As an outsider looking in, just reading about the energy imbalance here stresses me out. People aren't channeling only one side of their personality 100% of the time - it would be a little bit disingenuous. It seems like she's trying to amp you up because she needs the excitement and danger, and you are trying to find your calm and balance to get into your groove. Neither is wrong, but it does sound like you both should communicate better about it. I find it helpful to use "I" statements and discuss needs, feelings, and intentions. A good daddy is an adult with a protective, disciplinary vibe. You can't be a good daddy if you're driven to distraction.

[va****]

I'm in school in a intense program, but yes your right our communication is off for sure. Weve decided to be open for the summer as we have just been toxic to each other as I try to use my daddy ways to curb her drinking and she like safety words it and then come back and is rude and flirting with other guys and I'm like why and she's like cuz I want my daddy and I'm like that's not how you get daddy. That how you get angry me and almost feeling humiliated or bad. So ya it's been just seeming like she wants my daddy side but isn't respectful as much of the chill side of me which I am even more so

[Su****]

It sounds less like she’s being bratty and more like she’s manipulative. Especially if you’ve expressed to her how these behaviors make you feel. It’s veering off from “fun bratty side” and more into her using that as an excuse for disrespectful and blaming you for her acting that way. Especially after reading the comment about her drinking and safe wording because of that. Yes you can use a safe word for any reason and at any time, but she’s clearly planning to use it intentionally to continue toxic behavior. She’s manipulating you and gaslighting you.

[va****]

Yah that's why I ended things. Thank you for that sugar. I needed to hear that . It really fucked with my domming of others too because I have become more controlling and like angry and I wasn't before this girl ... So now I'm like damn

[va****]

Also she just asked me to come thru this morning because she missed me and loved me and I drove an hour to see her and she fucking had a hickey on her neck and we had just split yesterday morning and she said she was chillen with friends that night. Bro she's toxic as fuck and I thought I was just being a bad Dom. Goddam no wonder men are the way they are girls break there fucking hearts. Then you never see that side of us again from little boys

[Hedonist74]

As much as I agree with the comments. Don't tarnish all of us ladies with the same brush. It's a bad mindset to get into. Not everyone is the same, and that goes across genders. You unfortunately happen to meet the wrong person for you. But i hope you will treat this as a learning opportunity. So that next time, you get a better idea of the person that you want to be with. I imagine you are feeling hurt at the moment, and that's understandable, the expectation that were in place weren't lived up to. Take time to reflect, and when you feel more like yourself, then you are in a better position for a better relationship. Good luck for the future.

[va****]

You are right, this is not a blanket statement against all women, for the men and women who do the work on themselves thank you and you are seen. Sorry I am spent and thank you for all the feedback and love I felt from this truly. Not everyone is the same and that goes across all genders.. I agree Hedonist. Thank you Mommy..lol happy summer peeps

[Deleted Member]

Sounds like she is trying to top from the bottom. I personally feel that this isn't a good match for you, if you're unable to communicate with her over this consider it time to move on