Lost confidence

[Babs1981]

Hey everyone, what advice would you give to a member of the community that has been away for a long time and in that time has lost confidence in their body but would love to get back into the scene? 😘😘

[UK****]

what's changed since you were involved before and why did you step away?

[Cu****]

Surely why someone moves off the site has got nothing to do with anyone else. It’s private, and could be for a myriad of reasons. The OP identifies that they have lost confidence in their body since the last time that they were here. That’s all that’s needed. They’re seeking advice on how to build that confidence back, and not to suffer a Spanish Inquisition by people that they don’t know.

[MasterDarcy1979]

  1 hour ago, CumbriaLeather said:

Surely why someone moves off the site has got nothing to do with anyone else. It’s private, and could be for a myriad of reasons. The OP identifies that they have lost confidence in their body since the last time that they were here. That’s all that’s needed. They’re seeking advice on how to build that confidence back, and not to suffer a Spanish Inquisition by people that they don’t know.

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I would hardly call it a "Spanish inquisition" to be asked follow up questions to a query that they posted online in order for the community to help solve.

If you go see a therapist, is it regarded as an interrogation for them to ask questions?

Anyway.

I'm not entirely sure what "lost confidence in my body means", and since, apparently we aren't allowed to ask follow up questions, I'll assume you mean physically?

Do what everyone does to get body confident.

 

Edited July 11, 2024 by MasterDarcy1979

[ho****]

I’d recommend taking small steps, one at a time. You can divide your goal into a set of clear objectives. For example, getting back into the scene and regaining confidence in your body can be addressed separately. Then you can ask yourself, what exactly makes you insecure or which part of the scene is the most important at the moment, and which small, but immediate actions can move you in the right direction. And remember, it is a journey; finding a comfortable pace makes it more pleasant. Good luck!

[UK****]

  4 hours ago, CumbriaLeather said:

Surely why someone moves off the site has got nothing to do with anyone else. It’s private, and could be for a myriad of reasons. The OP identifies that they have lost confidence in their body since the last time that they were here. That’s all that’s needed. They’re seeking advice on how to build that confidence back, and not to suffer a Spanish Inquisition by people that they don’t know.

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I could indeed just randomly answer from the little information provided.  Far better (IMO) to try and understand the background and provide more targeted/informed advice.

[bi****]

My advice is the same as pretty much every kink-related one: go to a munch and talk to real people about anything and everything in that no-commitment social environment. Then you'll ease your way back in naturally.

[enrfun]

Find kind pervs and start chats with them. Show them bits of yourself and see how it goes. Start with just a few people.

[BB****]

Contact me and let me give you your groove back

[CopperKnob]

I'd suggest all the typical things
Learn to love yourself- affirmations may help, stop comparing yourself to others, dress for your body shape and surround yourself with body positive people. Maybe consider who you follow on socials or compassion focused therapy.

[Th****]

  5 hours ago, BBC4YOU11in said:

Contact me and let me give you your groove back

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🚩🚩

[Th****]

  13 hours ago, UK_Knight said:

what's changed since you were involved before and why did you step away?

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Follow up questions may be appropriate, sure but these things specifically aren't actually relevant, nor are they the business of strangers on a public forum. 

[Th****]

@Babs1981I'd suggest similar to what @CopperKnoband a couple others have said. Seek friendships with ***rs first, if not exactly by role at least befriend other women. If you aren't there already, make a Fetlife account and look up local community groups and munches. There are many many wonderful supportive femmes there and I promise there are many who look just like you. You just have to sift through the surface level window dressing to find the substance and your people. 

[do****]

Female bodies is such a complex issue because of the many misconceptions of the "perfect body". There is no such thing. Love yourself first and foremost and you are fine just the way you are. As stated, reaffirm yourself with positive thoughts to override the stinking thinking. Remember that no one's thoughts or opinions matter but yours. If you say you are beautiful then that's what it is. Also, this is a no judgement zone. Sometimes that also includes judging yourself. You got this. Welcome back 🌹