Are Long Term Relationships a Thing of The Past?

[JustCurious819]

7 hours ago, Workinghands35055 said:

As far as "short term"is can satisfy those long-term desires temporarily for some.I have enjoyed the journey in search of something real and long term and would rather turn down those "short term"opportunities.I believe that a lot of "short term"seekers are tired of being disappointed with investing to much..I know and realize the risk of investing for "long term"but the heart wants what the heart wants?

I'm no "short termer". But I have no enjoyed the journey looking for my long term. It's very hard, and ***ful. Figuring out what I want, and realizing I just don't believe it's out there. Where does that leave me? 

[Wo****]

43 minutes ago, JustCurious819 said:

I'm no "short termer". But I have no enjoyed the journey looking for my long term. It's very hard, and ***ful. Figuring out what I want, and realizing I just don't believe it's out there. Where does that leave me? 

Well if you adhere to the thought of not believing it's not our there to the point of not pursuing it,then you will never know.Instead listen to that small,still voice in your heart that says it is.If it does exist,as you imagine it, would it not be worth taking a chance?

[ey****]

the notion is really simple - like 50 years ago folk were often pressured into marrying both young, and for life, meaning people were partnered with people in their ***s or early 20s who "would do" rather than being a good match, and even in a lot of cases grew apart.

It's where a lot of the boomer memes of couples who hate each other comes from. It's not healthy for anyone.

Modern times.

This thread has both men and women bemoaning no one wants to long term commit "any more" yet this clearly isn't one sided.  There's nothing to stop any of the guys and any of the women moaning just pairing off together and staying together 20-30 years -- no? And this is the point where you might see by looking that it's not really compatible, of course.

The kinda reality is pretty much everyone has potential for long term, it just doesn't have to be with the next person they date or screw.  The average relationship length is little over 2 years (which some would say is long term, no?) but that's skewed of course by those which last decades (and counting) and those which typically implode after weeks or a couple of dates.

Like, you can use a handful of dates to see if things will work, or not.   Or of course a lot of relationships which seem to work when stuff comes to crunch 6-12 weeks in - in both people might be serious about each other until the point where you have to be "do I *actually* want to continue to spend my life with this person" especially when assorted dealbreaks rise up.

When you go out with a starting point of "I want long term" it puts the other person on the spot and brings forward this decision before they have chance to really weigh you up properly, and that leads to more collapses earlier, or, them reigning on their commitment when it gets to the 6-12 weeks and they're "actually, no" 

We are in a generally good place that we don't have to find someone say "you'll do" and spend the next 20-30 years with them.  And, if anything, I think when we look back on this era we'll find people generally did both stay together longer AND be happier.  Because they were with a partner that is better for them.