Switch

[Rudmaster]

How do you switch from Dom to Sub... I find it very hard....

[MasterDarcy1979]

You don't.

It's like asking "How do you switch from a human being to a Duck?"

[MissPeachyKeen]

This has been huge for me recently! I find it really important to spend time with Myself before a session. Listening to music that makes me feel powerful, watching videos of powerful people that I can look up to. I tend to stretch/workout more in general be more active and aggressive. This really helps me get in the zone of Domme.

For sub space, I makes myself comfy and do self care and generally be more gentle with myself. I slow myself down however I can. Meditation, etc.

Most importantly is finding a partner that can draw these sides out of you 😊

[Tr****]

I wondered the same thing

[Th****]

Well... To me it's more like a thing of dynamics. For now I found two ways to get me switched:
A mindblowing blowjob or her being over me and kissing/biting my neck. But there has to be this kind of trust. For me its not just getting into being a sub - its like the punishment for not being able to stay in control for like a split second. And the most worse is that I'm totally into it

[Wy****]

It’s hard to do on command. Usually it’s a flow of one state to another for me that comes about from changes in external and internal stimuli like mood, physiological and psychological states, work and life demands, etc. Also, certain people can induce a state sometimes. Like some people can make me feel submissive sometimes and others bring out a Dominant side.

[ey****]

  17 hours ago, Rudmaster said:

How do you switch from Dom to Sub... I find it very hard....

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some people are not switches at all

some who are - can't switch on command or find some people they can/would only Dominate or those they would only sub to.   

[kimutu72]

Ive always been dominate well for the past 10year, but always been curious about subming for someone, Ive found someone who is really patient, we communicate alot, hes not pushy, but also strong mentally, its only the start& I have slipped afew times. It still feels weird and awqard sometimes, but Im sticking with it to see how far I can go. Hope that helps

[Deleted Member]

Create a routine, a process of triggers, that help you become either your sub or dom 'persona'. As a example, when a sub wants to go in to littlespace, you have a routine that involves, clothing, bedding & accessories, as well as things like hairstyles, scents, the language you use, it's all a serious of triggers, to create that psychological & emotional state. If you find it difficult to switch, create a different routine for your sub & dom sides. Use different shower gel, different deodorant, maybe only dom wears aftershave not sub, have a completely divided wardrobe so sub never wears your dom clothes & vice versa, have different bedding for each. Just create a clear difference between the 2, that have their own routines, clothing, accessories, grooming routines, etc, use the visual, the tactile feelings, the smells & structure to help you enter either dom or sub mindsets.

Edited August 10, 2024 by Deleted Member

[Mi****]

Depends if you want to switch. If you don’t, that’s fine. If you do, that’s also fine.

[Ri****]

Simply put, if you find it that hard then you're not a switch, which is fine.
I can't honestly tell you how I switch, I just do.

[Deleted Member]

For me it really just depends on my mood. There are times when I only want to be a dom, and that's fine

[Polaris]

I lost 3 bets and discovered that I don't mind switching once in a while. 3 times in 14yrs.

[Widowkj]

I like to start as Dom and have it taken from me. About the time the man maybe close he needs to take what he wants and give me what I need not allowing me to over power him.

[he****]

This is a great topic. What helps me is what im wearing: Dom/top—- some sort of mask( ghost,ghost face etc)
Sub- my pink collar and puppy mask

My problem comes when i have to switch back after a scene. When my mistress lets me switch is is very hard for me to go back to being an obedient bitch. I feel like im still in control. I can play at both extreme ends of the spectrum so sometimes i have no idea what side of the slash i want to be on. Lately iv been really trying to grow and learn as a Dom/Top but im also trying to push my limits as a sub so this is a great topic!!

[La****]

I usually play by the promise once I flip Dom I don't flip back until next session. So if I start Dom I stay Dom. That's my body you're only squatting in it. If I start Sub and Dom isn't being very Dom like or not properly respecting my cues or edging too long too far I'll warn, (communication is key) if again not being respectful I'll take over, I've broken God knows how many restraints, floggers, dildos etc. next time we play either they understand the communication or we don't play. So I don't carry whatever previous onto the next session it's a new scene new setup meaning I can be sub after Dom.

[Rudmaster]

  1 hour ago, Lady-shamrockleo said:

I usually play by the promise once I flip Dom I don't flip back until next session. So if I start Dom I stay Dom. That's my body you're only squatting in it. If I start Sub and Dom isn't being very Dom like or not properly respecting my cues or edging too long too far I'll warn, (communication is key) if again not being respectful I'll take over, I've broken God knows how many restraints, floggers, dildos etc. next time we play either they understand the communication or we don't play. So I don't carry whatever previous onto the next session it's a new scene new setup meaning I can be sub after Dom.

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Love the answer.... Once you broke restrains u become dom hahah

[La****]

If the truth hurts then bite me.

[Ga****]

  August 10, MasterDarcy1979 said:

You don't.

It's like asking "How do you switch from a human being to a Duck?"

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I mean you can start by quacking?


In all seriousness, it's a state of mind for me. Music absolutely helps if I'm being dominant it's usually aggressive music, if I'm being sub it's softer and mellow. It helps to sit down and plan out what your session is going to involve and if you're playing with a switch. Decide who wants to sub more, negotiate. If you still can't decide, there's only one thing for it - switch fight to the death! Okay, well maybe not to the death. But at least until somone surrenders and accepts their fate. Just no striking. This is kink not ufc. Switching isn't for everyone, so don't be disheartened if you don't enjoy it.