How can a sub reciprocate.

[Deleted Member]

Young Dom here and I've been in a few relationships where the sub got most of the attention and affection but was incapable of reciprocating. This one is for either subs or doms, how can a sub make you feel loved, cared for and appreciated. Sexually seems obvious I want some deeper answers.

[0m****]

It’s in the small things, the day to day, thank you texts. In actions, words that are meaningful, not just during sessions or in play. We do like feeling valued. As much work as we put into making you feel special, we deserve the same in return. Surprise us, find out what we like, (can be acts of service) look at what love language works for us.

[Am****]

I’m a dom I love when my sub tell me how good I am at Radom times. If we’re having diner remind me how much u love when I take charge. Remind me and tell me how well I’m at my job. Remind me tell me you love t and want it again tonight. Or give me a back message and tell me why you want me and only me

[Am****]

Show me some affection that make me happy so I want to rock world again

[Si****]

If you’re not feeling appreciated, just remember that your subs are giving up control of their body, and even their minds, to you, especially during play. Everyone has their own dynamics. If you’re really feeling unsatisfied or feel like something is missing, just have a discussion with your partner. It won’t make you any less of a Dom, but it will most likely strengthen the relationship or show you it’s time to move on from it. Best of luck

[Ne****]

One sided relationships occur in all dynamics across human interactions. Barring that happening between Yourself and the subs you’re involved, I’d second some of what @0mG0ddess stated.
I believe perhaps You can answer Your own query - what things do YOU like and want fr a submissive? Also, are you in a romantic relationship with one or more of them or is it more casual wherein maybe the subs don’t realise You have such needs and or aren’t capable or willing to reciprocate in ways that You need and desire.
I’m hesitant to say this issue is endemic of D/s dynamic.
I hope you sort some things out For You!

[Koro]

Dom type here.
A sub can show me love and affection by making sure I always have a full glass, give me cuddles, tell me what you like about what we did. Allow me access to the flesh they have submitted for me. Rub my body.
If a sub makes me feel valued they're more likely to have their needs met

[Lsmart938]

12 minutes ago, 0mG0ddess said:

It’s in the small things, the day to day, thank you texts. In actions, words that are meaningful, not just during sessions or in play. We do like feeling valued. As much work as we put into making you feel special, we deserve the same in return. Surprise us, find out what we like, (can be acts of service) look at what love language works for us.

Great question. 
It’s like any relationship - it’s not just going through the motions, there has to be emotional investment too.
 

It’s like 0mG0ddess said - it’s the little things (.. most often outside of the main event ..) that make it 3 or 4 dimensional

[DeviantInside]

Submissive does not equal passive. I don’t really have time to expound on this but this is a bugbear of mine. Submissive does not mean you are only receiving. You can also find ways to make the relationship better and make re positive.

[Pi****]

I believe some of this can be solved by better communication.

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At the times you do feel appreciated, loved, or supported~ make a mental note of it. You have this ability to either in that moment or later express how pleased you are and why. I have found a lot of subs struggle with supporting, but that it is something that you can easily train and often they are extremely happy to do, especially if you are genuine and you were appreciation of their actions. For example I do believe in hydration... I might say this...

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"Baby girl I want the both of us to stay hydrated... lordy knows we need our fluids..." *points to our empty waters*  when she comes back with the waters... I would really express my appreciation... maybe saying something like... "You are such a good girl. Wanting to keep Daddy and his baby hydrated.... I love you supporting me... I love it... You've seen by now how I often keep the waters full... know that you simply doing what you just did... is so helpful to me... and I appreciate it greatly. Honestly... if you see our glass and water in the future empty... it would really make me wet.... if you just filled them... literally." 😂

 

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If you give all of that effort and time, your CONSISTENTLY communicate your needs both... reinforcing and correcting negative behavior... and after a reasonable amount of time... she still makes you feel under-appreciated... unloved... unsupported... shes not your sub... she's your fucking succubus and you need to run.

[Deleted Member]

Yo yall are some legends I'm furiously scribbling notes guess it's not just a me phenomenon. DOMS NEED AFFECTION TOO!

[Shilo66]

7 hours ago, ThornKei2024 said:

Young Dom here and I've been in a few relationships where the sub got most of the attention and affection but was incapable of reciprocating. This one is for either subs or doms, how can a sub make you feel loved, cared for and appreciated. Sexually seems obvious I want some deeper answers.

The answer is quite simple, but I'm afraid you're not going to like it...

Pick. Better. Subs.

If you're just looking for short-term fun, then you won't get what you seek. 

If however, you're looking for a long-term relationship, then your chances go up exponentially. So long, that is, you're brave enough to state what you expect at the beginning when you're vetting potential new subs. They'll either agree or walk away.

It's very important at the beginning of any new potential relationship that you communicate, on both sides, what you expect to receive and are willing to give. But weirdly, to me anyway, a lot of people here are afraid of doing so for *** that it might put the other person off them. To which I say, "good, so be it". Because, if it does, then that relationship was never meant to be.

Too many people here say that they want honesty, but, are afraid of being so, themselves.

 

 

[Je****]

It would be beneficial for the sub to participate in doing what the dominant structures as their way to support, and do things that doesn’t provide sub centric things but rather Dom centric action. I could offer that being submissive without expecting rewards for good behaviour would be a good start to reciprocate attention gifted to the subs in reality.

[he****]

😍😇

[my****]

The same as any relationship. The sub can remember things that are important to you, things you enjoy, and cater to those. Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, or just that your favorite event is coming up so they cleared your schedule so you could enjoy it. You show someone you care by knowing them and doing what you can to make them happy because that makes you happy.

The same can be said for Doms. In a non sexual way, observation and catering to your partners needs is the best way to show them you love them and value them.

[ey****]

One-sided relationships are never fun.

Kinda question is - are they one-sided because the other person really is selfish (a problem!) or because they are making assumptions on what a Dominant is, or how they should be treat and so are holding stuff off ?

When discussing with a sub, a sub might be quick to disclose their likes, expectations, limits, etc - but this should also be true of the Dominant.  

It's also never too late to work on communication so that you're both happier with things 

[pr****]

Your sub should kiss your feet and do everything for you so you feel loved

[un****]

a D/s relationship is the same as any other normal relationship you remember the things that they love or are important to them like for example my sub absolutely adores Harry Potter while i instead love things like History or Altered Carbon. part of it is just general affection and being able to listen to each others problems etc like the sex aspect of it is nice it’ll always be nice but relationships and i’m talking deep long lasting happy relationships aren’t built off of just sex it is a small but integral part of a much bigger whole

[Slutboymartin]

Long Deep Non Sexual Massages?
Cooking a lovely meal while you sit at the kitchen table with a glass of wine hes just piured while he wears nothing but his collar?
Taking You out & buying You gifts..
Arranging a Beautiful picnic & taking you to a beautiful. Place where he can feed You..
Foot Massages after work..
Making a bubble bath as Soon as You get home with Rose petals in it, washing you all over while he's naked except his collar kneeling and soaping you all over with Perfumed soap etc..
There's SO MANY Wys he can show appreciation, but, he should be doing all this ANYWay!!
Have Fun..
Slutboy martin xx

[Mu****]

For me words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time. Being obedient I like sitting at a Dom’s feet. His pleasure is my #1 priority. Send him pictures or videos of things we both have a shared interest. Mirror his dialogue when engaging in dirty talk. All him to express his likes and fantasies freely without judgement.