# I used to be more open and friendly but the tourists have ruined that.
# Do not message me if you haven't read my profile, or if you're not going to be respectful of stated boundaries.
**No canned openers, don't send the site provided "ice breakers" or copy/paste messages or some variation of "Hey" "Hi there" "Hello, how are you today?" or "What are you looking for here?" as your opening message. If that's your initial message... expect to not get a response. Give me some substance, be interesting, most of all _be respectful_. _Do_ include your Fetlife handle. **
**No honorifics, pet names or terms of endearment. If you don't know what an honorific is you need to learn it if you're on this site. **
** Requests to see my hidden gallery will be ignored. If I wanted to make them available to random requests, they wouldn't be hidden. **
**I'm not a friend collector. Friend requests sent without prior agreement will be denied.**
- Neurodivergent - AuDHD
- Gender non-conforming
- Demisexual/Noetisexual
- Polysexual /pansexual
- Greyromantic
- Non-monogamist
- Relationship anarchist
- Kitchen table poly friendly
- Not nice but kind
Yet another day of disappointment where I wake up only to find myself still attracted to men.
I'm pretty much only still here to talk to people I'm already friends with, share PSA's or shit talk in my status updates, and occasionally visit the forums for discussion, so **don't get your hopes up.** Only non shitty humans who put forth effort get the privilege of seeing the best parts of me.
Women are always welcome in my inbox for conversation and networking. Especially other D type women and women (especially in my region) who want to ask if I've had interactions with any particular men here as part of their vetting processes.
Men... if you don't have a completed profile, _including decent bio,_ it's very unlikely that I'll respond to your messages. However, if your interest is piqued, don't just send a spank. You might as well send a message too.
#PSA...
Not everyone falls into the categories of Dominant, submissive & switch. There are a lot of people who are simply tops, bottoms or versatile yet label themselves as Dominant, submissive or switch. Sadists, masochists and sadomasochists don't automatically fall into Dom, sub, switch either. It's completely OK to only be a top, bottom or vers it's not "less" kinky or "not real" BDSM if someone doesn't participate in _every_ aspect of BDSM. Learning the actual distinctions between these identifiers, labeling yourself correctly and learning the correct label(s) for one's ideal counterpart(s) will help reduce confusion, miscommunication, and frustration. If someone is "bedroom only" or "scene only" it's way more likely that they're not actually a Dom or sub and again. **There's nothing wrong with that.**
D/s isn't an inherent part of kink. Dominance and submission are about the overall energy of a relationship or dynamic and separate from what people might do with and to one another. This means the exact same actions and activities can occur and be enjoyed in many different ways, both with D/s and without.
BDSM & kink is not inherently sexual or a "style" or "type" of sex. I know that's going to blow some of your minds, but it's true.
# Final things of note...
- Don't get all in your feelings about how long I take to respond, even if you see that I've read your message and have logged on and haven't yet responded. It doesn't always mean that I'm not going to. I don't play the stupid games of making people wait just to toy with them. It's usually a time or mental energy thing or I've logged on to catch up with the forums or friends or something like that.
- This isn't Fetlife, the Fet app is part of fetish .com and a lot of people end up here when they went looking for "fet" or fetlife when they heard about it somewhere else. They're totally different sites, fetlife is a dot com not an app. (I hope this was helpful)