Lose yourself with abandonment play
Fear plays into a lot of BDSM, and one of the most basic and visceral fears is of being left alone. Abandonment play uses this to emphasise the controlling position of the Dominant partner(s) and the vulnerability of the submissive/s. It can involve restraint as well as distancing from the Dominant. Often imagined in fantasies, abandonment play is an extension of putting imagination into reality by the use of role play. For example, a common fantasy could be included in BDSM scenes with a little thought, risk assessment and safety. If you enjoy your play with an edge, this is the kind of play to indulge in.
What is abandonment play?
Abandonment play is a term that covers a submissive being left somewhere on their own and largely ignored by their Dominant. The submissive could be caged, put in a box, or made to stand in the corner of the same room as their Dominant. Or it can be that the submissive is left or restrained in another room entirely. The core element is that the submissive is left alone and ignored. This part of fear play and can be used for humiliation purposes and cuckolding too.
Ideas for abandonment play scenarios?
There are many ideas for abandonment play scenarios. A submissive can be left tied to a bed, chained up in a cellar, locked in a cage or even just made to stand facing the wall. The aim is to ignore them and play into the fear of abandonment. Abandonment play could be used as a tool in cuckolding too, leaving the cuckold in one room while the Dominant has sex with someone else in another, for example. It can be something that lasts for hours or just a short scene. You can create a scenario perfect for you and your partner(s).
Is abandonment play safe?
Any activity where a person is left alone has an element of risk. The risk level rises if that person is restrained in any way. Also, there must be a way for the submissive to contact the Dominant if the need arises. The use of baby monitors, mobile phones, or making sure the submissive can be heard from the room the Dominant is in all are ideas that can work.
If a person is restrained, make sure it is comfortable for the amount of time the scene might last. Also, there is a huge psychological edge to abandonment play. Make sure there is adequate aftercare for a sub who has been left alone and ignored for an amount of time.
Is abandonment play just for cuckolding?
You can use abandonment play in all kinds of scenarios, but it is widespread within cuckolding as a way of making the cuckold feel belittled. Abandonment play can be potent when used this way, but again, it's essential there is adequate aftercare.