“The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot forever fence it out.” - J.R.R. Tolkien.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell.
**Before sending me a friend request, please either message to introduce yourself and chat OR let me know where we met (irl or online), or even ask me irl or whichever online event we're at, if you want a chance of having your friend request accepted. If we've never spoken/met or attended an event together (irl or online), I'm gonna ignore the request, just FYI. Some of us only want real connections rather than "friend collecting" online randos. I'm also not interested in DMs from those who think their genitals are a good idea for a pfp on a social media site, no matter how kinky. It's like receiving an unsolicited dick/genital pic everytime someone with a genital pfp sends a message. Idc if you have them in your photo gallery, I just don't wanna be directly subjected to them in my DMs. Thanks.**
I'm mostly here to continue the learning process and find platonic friends and community with like-minded people. Ofc, I'd *like* to someday find a monogamous Dom partner to hopefully share the rest of my life with but I'm not gonna hold my breath - finding a great match is rare, even harder online. It's not the end-all-be-all of my reason for being in the bdsm community.
***Just Vanilla Things:***
I'm an introvert, easy-going, playful, dorky and awkward, an adventurous free spirit, open-minded, and a resilient, strong woman with equal parts sass & softness, and whichever side of me you see is based on how you treat me. I have an insatiable curiosity about most things and love learning. I'm super shy until I really get to know and connect with a person. I'm an INFP for you MBTI nerds. I'm good at getting along with *most* people once I get to know them unless they're being disrespectful. I believe in integrity, the importance of kindness, and common courtesy but not in being a pushover, so once someone gives me a reason not to be kind, I won't tolerate buffoonery.
I'm a total unapologetic neurodivergent (which means random moments of neurospicy awesomeness) and nerd/geek - talk nerdy to me and I'll talk nerdy to you lmao. I love deep, intelligent kinds of conversations that make you think and challenge you to learn and grow. Those are the kinds of conversations that "tickle" my brain. Bonus points if you actually enjoy ND infodumping lol. Cheers to all the neurotypicals who genuinely accept and enjoy us neurodivergents - you people are the real MVPs. I love the arts and sciences, especially the performing arts, photography, and cinematography, astronomy, the quantum fields, linguistics, psychology, anthropology, history, and philosophy. I'm also a lover of both vidya games and table top games. I love board game nights with loved ones just as much as I love kicking their asses at mario kart. I may or may not get a tad bit competitive during intense games, but it's all in good fun. I also love various outdoorsy stuff such as camping, hiking, swimming, kayaking, canoeing, and horseback riding. I enjoy trying new things and learning new skills of interest.
I'm currently aspiring to write a book.
***The BDSM Things:***
I'm an age regressive middle, little, princess and sensual sub. My regression range fluctuates between middle and little, but my default regression is 95% of the time in the middle range (10-17 ish). I *can* be a bit bratty (with consent ofc) but just for fun, playful, light-hearted teasing. I guess you could call that "Brat Lite" lmao. I don't like acting out my younger middle (below 15) & little headspaces while on the internet, in public, or around anyone who doesn't know that side of me for various reasons. So even if/when regressed (especially in the little range), I'm going to act like my older self in certain spaces. You'll only really notice little hints of the regression and different headspaces while in public/online after you get to know me better and learn how to spot the signs. I'm not into ABDL since my little range doesn't go any lower than about 4 or 5 (which is not very often anyway), and diapers are a hard limit for me on top of not being interested in the usual ABDL stuff.
For D/s dynamics I'm only into caregiver Doms and sensual/pleasure Doms at the softer end of the D/s spectrum. Only looking for a D/s dynamic within a romantic LTR, with the goal of possibly lifelong. I just can't do platonic and short-term dynamics. I need a deeper connection than that. I also need a dom who is open-minded, non-judgmental, and willing to learn just as much as me, especially when it comes to neurodivergence because ableism is a hard limit. So is a lack of empathy, integrity, and character.
Anything else you wanna know, feel free to ask. ^^
Side note: I'm not always active on here, there's times where I'll take a break from social media for days or more, so please be patient if you're genuinely interested and I haven't responded yet.
***Just some of my main boundaries when it comes to navigating finding a Dom and having an LTR dynamic:***
• My preferred age range in a partner is between 30 and 55. I prefer to keep my romantic relationships within a certain range from my current age: no more than 10 years younger than me and no more than 15 years older than me.
• Respect my orientation needs as a demisexual - our main need for sexual attraction to happen is a requirement and non-negotiable. If you want me and everything I have to offer - including my submission, sex drive, and the sexual aspects of bdsm, then I need a solid foundational connection first. *Everyone* can get by managing their sex drives (no matter how high) on their own without partnered activities in the beginning stages of a relationship - so don't think you're entitled to sex before I'm ready for that in an LTR. Your dick is not going to fall off lmao.
• Never demand my submission or even just demand I use your preferred titles/honourifics outside of an actual dynamic or some kind of kinky event where protocols are required as part of the event rules. Pet names and honourifics are completely off the table outside of those parameters so please respect that as it makes me uncomfortable. If you demand or act entitled to my submission or being addressed with a title/honourific outside of appropriate situations, I *will* treat you as if you've just given me permission to "brat" in the worst possible way. Consider yourself warned. :)
• If you have *any* issues with being vetted, the vetting process and period length, and with ***how*** I choose to vet you, then all bets are off. My vetting period depends on how open and honest you are and how well I can vet you, and get to know you. 90 days is the minimum to really start getting to know someone in a relationship.
• If you "don't believe in" negotiations, subs having our own voice with limits/opinions/boundaries, safewords, or aftercare (and by aftercare I mean anything either side of the slash needs after play), then miss me with that nonconsensual bs.
• If you're a sadist who feels like you need sadism & *** play in your dynamics to feel satisfied and fulfilled, then we're simply not compatible for anything beyond platonic friendship and socialising. Nothing against sadists, S&M just happens to be one of my major hard limits.
• If you need TPE and need it right away, then we're also not compatible beyond platonic friendship. TPE *might* be considered at some point, but only *after* we've been in a serious relationship for a long enough while and you've gained my full trust, respect, and submission. If I feel *safe enough* to try TPE, I'll let the dom know. No, this is not up for debate. I have extremely good personal reasons for this so no, I will *not* be interested in TPE until I know you're a safe person, period. Respect that or bypass me if you need TPE within the first few years of a dynamic.
• I don't send nude/sexy pics or any other personals and I'm not a sex worker so I won't even if you offer me payment for them. I also don't do cyber/sexting.
• If you only want an LDR that goes nowhere and aren't willing to relocate for a serious irl relationship, then find someone else for that. I don't mind starting out as an LDR, but I do want an irl partnership to be the end goal, so you must be willing to relocate eventually. I don't have the ability to relocate myself for personal reasons.
• If you're someone who tries to tone-police women's language, especially when it comes to casual cussing in places and events where it isn't rude or around ***. Yes, I am a woman who casually cusses for humour and to emphasise a point. No, I do not give a fuck what *your* personal opinions on it are. Anyone who's intimidated by others cussing to the point of pearl-clutching, lecturing, and automatic judgement just isn't mature enough. We are all adults after all, and I have no patience for sexists who believe shit like "cussing isn't ladylike" - those "ladylike" arguments/rules are outdated bs. I have no patience for sexist double standards when you don't have consent to set s***ch restrictions on a sub. You want s***ch restrictions in your dynamic? Find yourself a high protocol slave then because high protocol is not my thing.
• If you're an ableist who's too mentally lazy to educate yourself on any kind of disability when in a relationship with someone who has them, then we're not compatible. I have more self-respect than that.
• Asking about my hard limits for the ulterior motive of pushing and negotiating them sooner or later, rather than respecting them, is not something I'll tolerate. I believe in respecting *everyone's* hard limits, period. IF my hard limits change over the course of a relationship, I'll let my dom know and discuss them. Trying to enter into a dynamic with anyone hoping their hard limits will eventually change is a good way to set yourself up for disappointment.
• Please no low effort conversation starters: “hey/hi/what's up/how are you” as standalone messages without anything else to get the conversation going will ultimately be ignored, because it doesn't show any genuine interest in me as a human being - it only tells me you're bored and looking for NSA fun.
***Bonus points:***
• People who actually read my profile. Seriously, that will put you leagues above the rest and actually gain my respect if you're trying to see if we're compatible for more than friendship.
• Calling me by my actual name (ask for it in DMs) or my profile username, and not pet names outside of a dynamic.
• Caregivers/daddy-doms, sensual/pleasure doms, and brat lovers/wranglers, who have integrity and respect their sub's consent and autonomy. Those are the D types I'm most compatible with.
• Someone who is romantically and sexually monogamous (or flexible enough to be) when it comes to an LTR/dynamic, who's looking for the same type of relationship as me and has the same goals in mind. I don't mind though if a dom wants to top at events as long as it's platonic.
• Anyone into music (especially all or many different kinds, being eclectic is the best for swapping music reccs), gaming, reading, philosophy, science, history, or art and willing to have endless conversations on almost any topic under the sun with someone regardless of relationship type. People who enjoy intelligent conversations and conversations of mutual interests, ofc.
• Other left leaning people politically are preferred but independent and centrists are usually ok too. Conservatives... eh, not so much. Regardless of your leanings, just be a decent fucking human being instead of a judgemental clown to marginalised groups, and we're good lmao.
• Anyone willing to relocate if they're serious about a committed LTR, and if you're already a citizen of Canada, even better.
...I think that pretty much covers the important stuff lol. Anything else you're curious about, feel free to ask all the things and I'll answer to the best of my knowledge and experience. If it's something I'm not comfortable answering yet - especially in the beginning stages of getting to know each other, I'll give a reason why. If you've actually read this far then more power to you, and have a nice day. ^_^
haha most guys never have a friend to do this with but figure I'll keep trying
