I'm a submissive, masochist, I have had a few Dd/lg dynamics/relationships but unfortunately it was abusive in various ways
(now i'm not sure if they are a genuine Dom and if they have experience ...
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Dominants like to be in control. Unlike BDSM tops or sadists, their need is not particularly to inflict pain but to be domineering and have control over another person. Some Doms/Dommes expect to be obeyed immediately and without questions. Others enjoy being tested, and having to show their dominance over the submissive who’s being bratty.
There is no one way to be a Dominant. Dom/Dommes can also be sadists, tops, masters or riggers. Dominant is a huge category of BDSM made up of many very different people who all have one thing in common, their need to be in control.
The D in the term BDSM stands for Dominance, therefore Dominants are an instrumental part of BDSM.
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Masochists enjoy having pain inflicted on them. It might not be all kinds of pain, but only specific types. They usually match up with sadists because sadists enjoy inflicting pain.
Masochists tend to be submissive, but can be switches too. Masochists know what it feels to take a punishment do can make effective tops in a scene. Some Dominants have masochistic streaks, enjoying a certain level of pain themselves. Masochism is centred on the pleasure of pain but many masochists enjoy being controlled and dominated too.
Masochists are often bratty, to get the pain they want. The worst torture for a masochist is totally withholding punishment as they crave pain.
In day-to-day life masochists may find non kinky ways to satisfy their desires such as pushing themselves hard during exercise. Masochists often use pain to feel free from the pressures of day to day life.
A sadist is a Dominant who enjoys inflicting pain on a submissive partner or partners. However, it isn’t always that a sadist enjoys inflicting all kinds of pain on others. They may well enjoy specific sadistic tortures. They may prefer using a particular instrument like a whip or a cane or they might enjoy adding a sadistic element to other BDSM activities such as rope and restraints.
Sadists get pleasure from inflicting pain on others. This is always consensual and agreed in advance. They can enjoy the visual evidence of the pain they’ve inflicted in bruises and welts and red skin. They often enjoy the noises a masochist makes while they are inflicting pain on them and enjoy watching the way that masochist moves as they are tortured. They may even enjoy restraining the masochist so they can’t easily move.
Not all sadistic torture leaves marks. Sadists can use electric that inflicts lots of pain on their masochist but doesn’t leave lasting marks. Not all sadism is focused on the physical. Sadists often use fear and control to play with pain without inflicting any physical damage at all. This is called a mind fuck.
Many people often ask what is a sadist? There isn’t one simple answer. Every sadist is different. Sadists are most often Dominants but can be switches. Even masochists and submissives can have a sadistic streak. Enjoying inflicting pain on another person, maybe because they understand the thrill of feeling the pain themselves.
Sadists can become sexually aroused by inflicting painful torture on others, it can also be simply about submission and control. Sadists often spend many hours honing their skills with one particular torture implement to get the most sadistic pleasure out of their implement of choice.