Babe in the woods, seeking guidance

[Deleted Member]

I am new to BDSM and exploring my sub side (think I’m a switch/princess and def have brat tendencies). Recently I met a self professed D, we started having some very initial conversations  while getting to know each other... I’d like to continue the conversation and I’m now being ignored. Is this typical behavior? It doesn’t seem to represent a good start to a Ds relationship . At the very least, if there’s no interest in the part of the D, why not provide closure rather than leaving me in limbo?I have so many questions and now I feel like I have no one to talk to about this side that’s been awakened in me, and that I’ll never find the D I need! Seeking out a relationship is hard enough, but now adding in the Ds component - even more complicated. What to do? How can I find my tribe? 

[FETMOD-TF]

Hi all

Just a reminder, the OP has asked for genuine advice, so please remember to stay on topic and not offer up your services as a potential Dom.

Thank you

 

[to****]

My guess, and it is only a guess, that the person you were talking to isn’t the person they made out to be. You wanted to progress it further and it sounds like he either has panicked or grown scared
Put the whole episode down to experience and move on, if he gives up that easily he’s probably not the controlling dominant you want or crave.

[Deleted Member]

Patience and a little fortitude are required im afraid. There is no real difference here compared to a vanilla dating site, ghosting and being ignored etc. No its far from nice but it does happen and is part and parcel of the online world most live in. Try not to invest too much of yourself at the begginning, less to lose that way and be cautious always. Over time you will find Your way but again lots of patience as you do 😊

Edited August 19, 2020 by Deleted Member
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[Deleted Member]

The best piece of advice i was ever given when i started to explore my submission, was to not fall at the feet of the first Dom you come across. Admittedly, its hard advice to follow when you catch feelings, but you have to remember, you might not know what is going on in their lives. Being ignored / ghosted / left on read sucks a fat one, but try and look for the lessons in everything that happens. You have a forum full of people who can and will support you, so you aren't ever alone <3  

[Deleted Member]

I'm in the same boat as you only with submissives. It's not right at all teasing you like that. I totally understand.

[Deleted Member]

Wish it wasn't so, but welcome to the world of online dating. Don't be shocked if a guy (don/sub/vanilla) promises the the moon and then disappears. Eventually you'll probably ghost people too.

[Deleted Member]

I've found this place difficult. Everyone seems to be looking for something that they will never find. And most won't reply to messages. .you will get used to it

[Wo****]

  11 hours ago, comehereboy said:

Eventually you'll probably ghost people too.

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Erm... why?

[ey****]

People ghost for different reasons.

In most cases it's a sign they're not suitable for you.  Be it that, actually they were having an affair or liked the idea more than the reality - or - that they're no longer interested.

Or it may well be something has happened in their personal life - I know for example someone who has not responded to me has had personal things to deal with.

It's just a case of being disappointed, brushing down and moving on

[Si****]

See it as a close shave. If he doesn't respond in a reasonable time (i say reasonable as you don't know what's going on in his life and may have to deal with something) However, a quick"I cant chat right now but I will later today" message take seconds. You don't want to be in need of his support such as sub drop if he cant respond.

Its hard if you have invested some time in chatting and opening up to someone to just be dropped without a reason. Not all Dom do this and any self respecting Dom would have the courage to be honest and say if things are not going anywhere.

Chin up, move on and one day the Dom you desire will just turn up out of the blue. Its happened to me with subs, some just stop communicating, others just move on to another Dom, some just stay friends.

ATB

[Si****]

  13 hours ago, comehereboy said:

Wish it wasn't so, but welcome to the world of online dating. Don't be shocked if a guy (don/sub/vanilla) promises the the moon and then disappears. Eventually you'll probably ghost people too.

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No, doesn't matter how hard it gets or how wronged you are, never Ghost anyone. Don't become the thing you dislike, set a standard and remember you are still dealing with a human being with some feelings.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you all for you loving kindness and sound advice which of course I know!!!  True we’re all adults and I suppose “expecting” one to behave as such with style and grace is a bit utopian. Already over it ... just stings a bit ;)