TeeterVonD Posted July 19, 2022 Posted July 19, 2022 I have always been naturally submissive to my Dom. He owns me completely and we have had a fantastic dynamic for 9 yrs. However I have slowly expressed that I would like to explore my dominant side but I feel that he would have a hard time letting go of his control. Any thoughts?
ge**** Posted July 19, 2022 Posted July 19, 2022 If he doesn't have a submissive side or cannot relinquish control for you to be able to explore your dominant side then it's unlikely you'll be able to explore that side with him to be honest. . So you have a number of choices: . You accept that your dominant side will remain unexplored and just carry on as you have been with your fantastic dynamic . You decide you cannot leave it unexplored and find a compromise - perhaps involving another who you dominate, either under your dominant's instruction or not. . You end the relationship and explore of your own free will. . Now the last I suspect is unlikely, so you need to decide which of the other two is more important to you and that can only come from within and through discussion and communication with your dominant. . One other thought, you say you "feel" he would have a hard time letting go of his control, but do you *know* that? Perhaps talking openly and honestly with him about it may find a middle ground, or the compromise I suggested.
Pl**** Posted July 19, 2022 Posted July 19, 2022 I don't think there's really an answer other than communication. There's not some magic formula that will make somebody do something or be open to it, but you can talk to them, express your desires, and see how they feel about it. It may not end up working out. Not everybody is going to be comfortable with or get anything out of being submissive. I would be willing to try if I had a serious partner that truly wanted me to, but it would almost certainly be an exercise in disappointment. If she truly felt that need, I'd recommend she find someone else to fulfill it, whether it be a poly situation or breaking up. Whether they're open to it or not though, talking is the only way to find out what your next steps should be.
Cu**** Posted July 19, 2022 Posted July 19, 2022 You mention that you’ve slowly expressed what you would like to explore, and therefore I wonder if you’ve already had some feedback from your dom. Really, he can’t object. This is all about you and your development. If he’s similarly enjoyed helping you in your self discovery for the last nine years, then he either appreciates/accepts that you have extended desires and helps you, or you cut loose and go your own way, in a new chapter of your life. I would have thought that he should accept your developing new ideas and given you all the assistance to teach and mentor you. I hope that you feel strong enough to elaborate on your feelings with him.
TheBookCollector Posted July 20, 2022 Posted July 20, 2022 Dont just slowly suggest, or hint, actually sit down with him and talk it through as equals. Consider the options here are two possible. 1) Introduce a second submissive to your existing dynamic where you excercise a degree of dominance over them, (2) or explore with someone outside the existing dynamic within a non-monogamous relationship providing its agreedto by all parties.
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