RecoveryDaddy Posted May 7, 2023 Posted May 7, 2023 (edited) I'm new to the whole kinky community and looking to find my place, and I was wondering if there's any groups on here that are into like recovery and or wellness? I have 8 years in recovery and idk I just like I spent a lot of my life taking care of myself, developing healthy boundaries, building a positive self image, prioritizing my physical health - and I just think it's the sexiest thing on earth when I find a woman who's doing the same thing. Also like, as much as I want to explore my sexuality and have fun and let loose etc, I definitely don't want it to get in the way of my recovery, so finding some other kinksters in similar situations would be awesome! Does anyone know if there's, like, an official name for that? Or if there's any groups on here with a similar vibe? Edited May 7, 2023 by RecoveryDaddy
ar**** Posted May 10, 2023 Posted May 10, 2023 Just for context (non native English speaker here): does being in recovery mean recovering from an accident in a hospital, or is it related to staying sober after substance ***?
RecoveryDaddy Posted May 11, 2023 Author Posted May 11, 2023 (edited) 18 hours ago, arnhem961 said: Just for context (non native English speaker here): does being in recovery mean recovering from an accident in a hospital, or is it related to staying sober after substance ***? Originally, I was using it to mean recovery from substance or mental health issues, but it could be for any long term health-focused lifestyle, really! Edited May 11, 2023 by RecoveryDaddy
RecoveryDaddy Posted May 11, 2023 Author Posted May 11, 2023 (edited) Looks like some folks are interested, but nothing else is out there yet, so fuck it let's start the discussion here! My name is Sam and I have 8 years of recovery for mental health. A big part of my journey was realizing I put myself in bad situations and around shitty people because I was really bad at being alone - if I could just surround myself with people then I'd never have to focus on my own problems. But I've come a long way since then, and done a whole lot of work on myself. I've changed the way I treat others and also the way I treat myself. I finally feel secure and confident enough to surround myself with people who also treat others well, and be fine on my own when people like that aren't around. This plays into my kinky life two ways, really. First is that I heard a million times that early recovery is the worst time to date and you need to just focus on yourself. So I did! But shit got kinda crazy because on top of the basic recovery stuff, I also dropped out of school and went back several times, moved between cities a lot, dealt with family issues, and chased several careers that didn't pan out for me. So it was a long-ass time that I was in my head about everything and not on the dating scene. Now I'm finishing my degree and have leveled out on a lot of life stuff, so I'm a lot more stable, and I finally feel like I'm ready to get back out there! I don't have much experience but I do have a very strong sex drive and I'm ready to get freaky as hell! The second way is that after putting so much time and energy into learning how to take care of myself, I think it is just SO gotdamn sexy when a woman also takes care of herself. I'm 26 and still finishing my bachelor's so it's not the cleanest or most self-care focused group of people lol. When I see a woman who's not vein per say, but who clearly pays attention to the way they look and the way they speak and treat others etc. I just get so attracted to that! But I also know that those types of women aren't super interested in being flirted with at work or in class or during a recovery meeting. So I still haven't had that pleasure yet lol. I guess, I should say the thing they say in the rooms lol Thanks for letting me share! keep posting back, it works if you work it, it doesn't if you don't! Edited May 11, 2023 by RecoveryDaddy
No**** Posted May 12, 2023 Posted May 12, 2023 Yesterday at 05:21 PM, RecoveryDaddy said: Looks like some folks are interested, but nothing else is out there yet, so fuck it let's start the discussion here! My name is Sam and I have 8 years of recovery for mental health. A big part of my journey was realizing I put myself in bad situations and around shitty people because I was really bad at being alone - if I could just surround myself with people then I'd never have to focus on my own problems. But I've come a long way since then, and done a whole lot of work on myself. I've changed the way I treat others and also the way I treat myself. I finally feel secure and confident enough to surround myself with people who also treat others well, and be fine on my own when people like that aren't around. This plays into my kinky life two ways, really. First is that I heard a million times that early recovery is the worst time to date and you need to just focus on yourself. So I did! But shit got kinda crazy because on top of the basic recovery stuff, I also dropped out of school and went back several times, moved between cities a lot, dealt with family issues, and chased several careers that didn't pan out for me. So it was a long-ass time that I was in my head about everything and not on the dating scene. Now I'm finishing my degree and have leveled out on a lot of life stuff, so I'm a lot more stable, and I finally feel like I'm ready to get back out there! I don't have much experience but I do have a very strong sex drive and I'm ready to get freaky as hell! The second way is that after putting so much time and energy into learning how to take care of myself, I think it is just SO gotdamn sexy when a woman also takes care of herself. I'm 26 and still finishing my bachelor's so it's not the cleanest or most self-care focused group of people lol. When I see a woman who's not vein per say, but who clearly pays attention to the way they look and the way they speak and treat others etc. I just get so attracted to that! But I also know that those types of women aren't super interested in being flirted with at work or in class or during a recovery meeting. So I still haven't had that pleasure yet lol. I guess, I should say the thing they say in the rooms lol Thanks for letting me share! keep posting back, it works if you work it, it doesn't if you don't! Hi Sam, it sounds like you have done a bunch of work already, but being brutally honest, you are now in the middle. It sounds like you are focussing on external looks, which i get. A woman can really look sexy and arrouse you while being totally wrong for you. And it sounds like something in you is already telling you that. So i would say maybe focus on figuring out what your current you needs. I mean, no matter how sexy a lady is, if she is I to other stuff than you, or not delivering what you need (whatever that may be) it is a waste of time. And you have two options: trying to change her mind (bad idea, these days even more cause for every Sam, she will have a thousand chads (no exaggeration) who will lie, cheat and do whatever to bed her. So your choice is do you want to fold your values and become a chad, or just let her go and be you? You are on a pathway and being unauthentic just to "score' will be heavy on your own compass without guarantee to work. So figure out what you want, and hold people to that standard. The hot chick you desire flakes? Sure, move on. Or better yet, don't do online dating and find a better medium to be you and be found🤷 but for the love of all that is holy to you, don't buy into the "be this or that to get the girl", cause it means that choice will be permanent if you want to keep her.. which nobody can do
RecoveryDaddy Posted May 13, 2023 Author Posted May 13, 2023 7 hours ago, Noctris said: Hi Sam, it sounds like you have done a bunch of work already, but being brutally honest, you are now in the middle. It sounds like you are focussing on external looks, which i get. A woman can really look sexy and arrouse you while being totally wrong for you. And it sounds like something in you is already telling you that. So i would say maybe focus on figuring out what your current you needs. I mean, no matter how sexy a lady is, if she is I to other stuff than you, or not delivering what you need (whatever that may be) it is a waste of time. And you have two options: trying to change her mind (bad idea, these days even more cause for every Sam, she will have a thousand chads (no exaggeration) who will lie, cheat and do whatever to bed her. So your choice is do you want to fold your values and become a chad, or just let her go and be you? You are on a pathway and being unauthentic just to "score' will be heavy on your own compass without guarantee to work. So figure out what you want, and hold people to that standard. The hot chick you desire flakes? Sure, move on. Or better yet, don't do online dating and find a better medium to be you and be found🤷 but for the love of all that is holy to you, don't buy into the "be this or that to get the girl", cause it means that choice will be permanent if you want to keep her.. which nobody can do must have not been clear - by thinking it's hot when a woman takes care of herself, I didn't just mean looks! I think it's sexy when a woman, like, pays her bills early or eats a lot of vegetables or is smart and empathetic, or like practices mindfulness. Just watching how you treat yourself and how you carry yourself and how you hold yourself to a standard, ya know? Not the most common thing, and not usually what's flaunted on the dating scene so idk. I'm definitely not chasing looks alone lol. But Maybe I'm chasing this idea of self-care, not realizing that this type of person isn't for me? But at the same time, it doesn't sound right to just say that I deserve to be stuck with a partner who doesn't know how to look after themselves, or is bad for my recovery, ya know? any thoughts?
Recommended Posts