fetish_girl Posted April 5, 2017 Posted April 5, 2017 Hi! I'm in my first D/s relationship, and we've been talking loosely about whether we should write up a contract or not... I'd love to get some advice on this. When is it a good time for a contract? What should be in it? Anything in particular we should keep in mind?
amare_funem Posted April 6, 2017 Posted April 6, 2017 It depends on how far you are into the relationship . I would suggest a contract is potentially a good idea but you will both need to work out what you are looking for so this can be included and then the usual safewords etc.
KaylaLords Posted April 20, 2017 Posted April 20, 2017 A contract can be as formal as you like - SubmissiveGuide.com has a few great examples on their site if you want it to be written. Contracts aren't a requirement, but if you are going to use one, I've found they're good at the beginning of a relationship or when you're making a transition to something new (new dynamic, new rules, etc.). For ideas of what to include in it, I'd suggest: What rules, tasks, rituals will be in place . What the consequences will be for a broken rule or bad behavior (assuming you have some discipline aspect to your relationship). What the Dominant will and won't do. What the submissive will and won't do. Any special protocols - titles to be used, ways to address each other, when and how you'll communicate with each other (open communication is best in my opinion but in high protocol dynamics, a formal method may work best). Hard and soft limits could also be included. Whatever you put in it, know that you can and should be able to renegotiate any aspect of it. You may want to include when you'll formally review the contract (every month? every few months? as needed?). I don't think every D/s relationship needs or has to have a contract but they can be really helpful for making sure you both know exactly what you're agreeing to, what you want, what you don't want, and what the rules and expectations are for both of you.
Theedge-9760 Posted April 30, 2017 Posted April 30, 2017 Have a contract, it will protect both of you should it ever break down. The Police are now empowered to issue Domestic *** Protection Orders. If either one of you leaves a mark on the other it WILL get messy. I know.
Mu**** Posted June 7 Posted June 7 For me personally it’s always appropriate in the beginning to use a contract. Now it’s now law binding so it’s not gonna hold up in court. It’s just a nice understanding of roles and responsibilities for the Dom and the submissive. Rules, protocols, rituals, allotted times, limits, safe word as detailed as it needs to be. So that both parties understand what’s expected and everyone is giving consent.
Ra**** Posted June 12 Posted June 12 I prefer a three tier process. Tier 1 You have just met, your figuring things out, finding out about your compatibility. It’s all shiny and new and everything is verbally agreed to. (This is why every other post on this forum is about communication) Tier 2 you have found out that your simpatico, all your puzzle pieces fit together and you’re ready to take a next step. A quick one page (thing?) that outlines preferences, bullet points ideas confirms safe words and hard limits. Short and sweet and easily modified as you go. Tier 3 Your one page is now almost three pages, you can play her body like a Stradivarius.(I look at everything from the Don point of view). It could be time for a full blown contact. (I put things in writing but have never felt the need for signatures). But if you do, more power to you. Go to the internet and download 3,4,5 however many you want and cherry pick what you need to feel comfortable (because that’s what you’re trying to do). Sign on the dotted line and go to town on each other (within the rules of the contract, of course) My 2¢ Keep your guard up, and watch for the left
Recommended Posts