Popular Post Da**** Posted May 7 Popular Post Posted May 7 Having difficulty starting or thinking about starting over... This lifestyle is so much better than vanilla with the communication and honesty but I recently just ended my 1st irl dynamic, it was great we just wasn't right for each other and it was for the best I know all all parts but the thought about starting over makes me scared nervous and little sick to my stomach, I've been talking to some potentials which is OK but when the thought of meeting comes up I panic and wanna run away.. anyone else have this issues after there 1st or am I just overthinking
Ma**** Posted May 7 Posted May 7 Sounds like you like the attention but you aren’t ready for the real thing yet. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You will know when you know.
ey**** Posted May 7 Posted May 7 it can be really difficult to get back into a groove if a dynamic comes to an end. there's an old cliche about time being a great healer - but it's very true.
Deleted Member Posted May 7 Posted May 7 You're not alone in this, similarly to you, I recently ended a longterm dynamic with my first dom and finding it incredibly difficult to move on and try again with another dom. I chat with people and feel it's going well but when it comes to meeting I want to just disappear completely, partly because I don't want the same thing to happen and partly because they aren't the dom I'm used to! No one talks about these things enough it's so difficult trusting new people after you've gotten comfortable in a situation that ended. You're not over thinking, I think it's natural to be nervous but just take your time and don't rush. The right people will be patient and wait to give you time if they are decent. I hope you feel better about meeting potentials soon 🙂
Mi**** Posted May 7 Posted May 7 I'm like that with any type of relationship! Im a generally anxious person anyways, so the talk of meeting up is very stressful. Getting into an official dynamic is horrifying to me even though I really really want it but I'm not here to mess around. The idea of having to searching isn't so bad, but having to try with so many people is nerve wracking when it's always the start that's the hardest part.
Deleted Member Posted May 7 Posted May 7 I mostly just want to offer empathy and support. AND, I’d just like to add on top of the lovely advice you’ve already gotten; maybe it’s ok to just take break. Breathe. Talk to people without expectations. Rediscover who you are without the context of your former partner or even a dynamic in general. Moments in our lives like this are always challenging, but it’s a challenge you can rise to meet. I wish you all the best. Good luck!🍀
Do**** Posted May 7 Posted May 7 You don't HAVE to get into another dynamic right away... or at all if you don't WANT to. This is YOUR life: you decide how it goes and who shares it with you. Just take your time... like any other relationship, when a dynamic feels right, you'll know. Do your research, get to know people, and see if you have that spark with someone. Then, take it as slow or as fast as YOU choose. If they don't like it? Them, they weren't right for you.
Ty**** Posted May 7 Posted May 7 Yeah I know it's hard. I'm recently widowed. I know it not same but everytime it gets close. I back off a little. And no one has really pursued me all that much so. Hard for me to show interest if they won't make an effort. So I think I feel your *** somewhat..
GL**** Posted May 8 Posted May 8 Whether it’s your first great connection in this our your hundredth, it doesn’t get any easier to lose that bond if it was as good as think it was for you. Sure your skin gets a little tougher and you learn a lot about yourself and what you want and need. I know for me, I will always hold those memories close. Luckily, I have maintained friendships with most of the women I have been in this with, but there are few I wish could’ve ended differently. Starting over is the worst! I know exactly what you mean. I’m doing the same thing right now. If you need someone to vent to about some of the nonsense or ask advice about stuff, I got you! My best advice is to make sure you take some time to heal before jumping into anything with someone else. Really process the entire experience you had in the connection. Learn everything you can from it. Doing things like this and asking the community for advice is already a great step. I hope something I tell you helps. Now that you have had quality experience, don’t settle for anything else. Make sure you vet and get to know the next person throughly and be patient. I’ve made the mistake of being so excited to maybe have found another great connection that I have rushed into things. Be yourself and not what you think the person wants you to be. What’s meant to be for you will come and who you are and what you like is good enough. Don’t forget to have fun with us. If you aren’t having fun with the person you’re talking to you’re talking to the wrong person. Being friends after a connection isn’t easy for some but I have found that it helps me if you can find a way to get there. Cheer up buttercup! You will find another one even though it might seem like it know. I wish you the best of luck on your journey 🌟
Da**** Posted May 8 Author Posted May 8 I am a completely different person then who I was then, I've grew and am still growing learning who I am and what I want. I'm alot stronger and have a clearer mind
GL**** Posted May 8 Posted May 8 3 minutes ago, Danni87 said: I am a completely different person then who I was then, I've grew and am still growing learning who I am and what I want. I'm alot stronger and have a clearer mind You might be ready then. Just be selective and try to have fun. Take breaks when you need to and don’t let all the options and messages overwhelm you. I find focusing on one person at a time is easier than talking to multiple people of course, but it allows you to really focus on that person.
GL**** Posted May 8 Posted May 8 Effort and communication means a lot to me. If it’s not there, it’s not for me. I will move on quick to the next person instead of multiple people at once.
Mo**** Posted May 8 Posted May 8 I just have to say that all of this wonderful suppprt and advice is just as important and relevant for those who are brand new on this site. The doubts, the ***s, struggle to trust & be ***. It is easy to get drawn in by folks quickly but the ones that are willing to go at a pace that works for you and put in a bit of effort are the ones worth putting your own time (my own time) into. Thank you to everyone who shared in this thread bc while I'm not in the same boat, your words offered me a lot of support and comfort.
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