Yu**** Posted July 30 Posted July 30 Sounds like you need to set expectations and boundaries and what you want out of your relationship for yourself. Then what you want out of your relationship with each other. Then compare. See if you are both waiting the same thing. Then you can find your answers and a place to start.
Di**** Posted July 30 Posted July 30 Long term friendships even grow into more than casual. It's not long term acquaintance.. long time friends that are bonding over their potential trauma and healing that or enjoys shared kinks and servicing one another for years .. well yeah it's not going to always stay casual and most ppl don't belong to a casual Dom. Training is not something that non seriously committed doms do. Our kinks need to mash up, we need to have deep trust and communication together.i need time to trust your body language and know your mind and how it will play with your body. It sounds like your partner has new relationship energy with their newfound dom. The real question is what do you ***, if he is going to leave he will. If it isn't meant for you to be poly, for the relationship to grow to include new forms of love and withstand that growth.. then don't let it stop you from finding the love you need. Call that energy to you. Love in the form you need to be happy and rejoice in your love. Not to be scared of it.
NJ**** Posted July 30 Posted July 30 I have seen others in a similar situation as you. Unfortunately the end result was negative. The person who ended up with love the other ended up being heart broken because the partner found more in line with the 3rd the was brought into the relationship. If you and you partner can’t find the missing piece in your puzzle, you will either need to come to the realization that you would have be content with feeling less than complete with him while he gets that completeness with another person involved. That is a choice you unfortunately have to make on your own. You can hurt now by ending it so you can move on with little damage or you can be hurt in the long run the longer you want to “hope” he loves you in return. If that never happens, you can cause more damage mentally and emotionally to yourself
Et**** Posted July 30 Posted July 30 I see people bashing the guy when he clearly stated that he may or may not stay in the relationship. The problem is not him, the problem is you. You agreed to an open relationship when you are not cut for it. You seem possessive and if that's what you want, you should say so. He will drag you around and ultimately ditch you when he can replace you and he seems he made it quite clear without him saying it in a cruel way. So do yourself a favor and state your needs. Don't p*ssy out, thinking you will chase him away if you say what you want. I feel you want a LTR with a sprinkle of random sex escapades to spice things up, NOT an open relationship. So! Get a little hurt now or get a world of *** later. Your choice, you are a big girl. Sorry for not mincing words, but telling you "it's him, not you" is a stupid virtue-signaling advice that will ruin you. If you want to be the focus of love/attention/worship or whatever say it and demand it or get used and abandoned. Also your jaw is fine, wtf are you doing? Changing your appearance for someone that's half way out of the door? That's nuts, what if your next guy, that's is exactly what you want, prefers you the way you are now? Anyway, good luck, I hope you find a better match.
wh**** Posted July 31 Posted July 31 I think it’s less him seeing a domme on the regular and more if you are you comfortable with an open relationship? Sounds like you have some soul searching to do. I hope things go well.
90**** Posted July 31 Posted July 31 Why be in an open relationship if you can’t handle the idea of your partner with someone else!! That goes for both male and female! If someone doing something you like and it feels good… you’re probably not going to drop the situation because someone else is jealous…that’s how cheating starts 🤷🏾♂️ or maybe I’m wrong
Bu**** Posted August 1 Posted August 1 The problem with having sex is, it might start off as casual ,however eventually one of the two is gonna end up catching feelings for the other. Ppl just try to fool themselves by calling it casual sex. N-way I'm down for casual sex.
ki**** Posted August 1 Posted August 1 I think before you guys started being in an open relationship you should of set boundaries and what kind of open are you willing to be in because if you don't then it's both of your fault if someone's feelings get hurt and you can't just switch it up now pit yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you found an amazing dom that can teach you how to sub then your partner gets mad it might be for long term. How long did you want an open anyways that's how long he can be around her since nobody set boundaries. Boundaries and communication are everything in a relationship no matter what kind
Je**** Posted August 1 Posted August 1 36 minutes ago, kinkywolf2001 said: I think before you guys started being in an open relationship you should of set boundaries and what kind of open are you willing to be in because if you don't then it's both of your fault if someone's feelings get hurt and you can't just switch it up now pit yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if you found an amazing dom that can teach you how to sub then your partner gets mad it might be for long term. How long did you want an open anyways that's how long he can be around her since nobody set boundaries. Boundaries and communication are everything in a relationship no matter what kind Boundaries can be healthy if they are sane boundaries, there are many ways to do things for open relationships and many ways to make boundaries. Think things through and discuss them before deciding on what you want to set
Je**** Posted August 1 Posted August 1 Yesterday at 06:19 PM, 90dre said: Why be in an open relationship if you can’t handle the idea of your partner with someone else!! That goes for both male and female! If someone doing something you like and it feels good… you’re probably not going to drop the situation because someone else is jealous…that’s how cheating starts 🤷🏾♂️ or maybe I’m wrong I think you’re missing the part where it’s not about poly or enm that the post is about D/s not open relationship either. Casual D/s is when two people are dating in a D/s dynamic way. Full time in home D/s is different than casual D/s . The point is that can in be casual and yes it can be but once in it whether it’s casual or not the dynamic is ultimately full time whether or not it’s living together. Casual can be as casual as once a month meeting up or just long distance every other day or week. It’s whatever you decide works for you to keep it casual
Es**** Posted August 1 Posted August 1 Well, I’ve never been able to “keep things casual” in my experiences. What I love about a D/s relationship is the strong connection and feeling of belonging. I can’t imagine a casual relationship like that. I’m sure it happens, I’m not trying to say that it can’t happen for others. Big for me “casual” D/s isn’t a thing for me. That’s my two cents and what my mindset is. Good luck with your relationship.
Je**** Posted August 1 Posted August 1 26 minutes ago, Escalon8503 said: Well, I’ve never been able to “keep things casual” in my experiences. What I love about a D/s relationship is the strong connection and feeling of belonging. I can’t imagine a casual relationship like that. I’m sure it happens, I’m not trying to say that it can’t happen for others. Big for me “casual” D/s isn’t a thing for me. That’s my two cents and what my mindset is. Good luck with your relationship. I’m the same way with regards to casual Ds it gets very intense when sharing power with others, particularly when there are already strong feelings which brought the whole situation with Ds in to play in the first place
Ma**** Posted August 2 Posted August 2 I think that once she establishes dominance over him, he's essentially hers. At least that's the way it's been with my subs
Br**** Posted August 3 Author Posted August 3 3 hours ago, MasterDom519 said: I think that once she establishes dominance over him, he's essentially hers. At least that's the way it's been with my subs Based on what I’ve seen and heard from many others, that’s what I feel would happen. Even though we’re in an open relationship, I thought we were looking at casual sex with others and possibly bringing in someone to join us. I don’t feel comfortable with him belonging to someone else in this way as it likely will mean the end of our relationship (which just officially started a few weeks ago and he was thinking of meeting with the Domme for the first time this coming weekend).
Je**** Posted August 3 Posted August 3 34 minutes ago, BraveLittleToaster said: Based on what I’ve seen and heard from many others, that’s what I feel would happen. Even though we’re in an open relationship, I thought we were looking at casual sex with others and possibly bringing in someone to join us. I don’t feel comfortable with him belonging to someone else in this way as it likely will mean the end of our relationship (which just officially started a few weeks ago and he was thinking of meeting with the Domme for the first time this coming weekend). Maybe say that to him, not all meetings end up with a domme claiming a sub
Br**** Posted August 3 Author Posted August 3 32 minutes ago, Jecture said: Maybe say that to him, not all meetings end up with a domme claiming a sub I do intend to tell him that. But it’s my understanding that she wants something long term and he’s willing to do that so I don’t see how she wouldn’t claim him. Though she did say she only does it for fun, again, I don’t see how she would not claim him if it’s a long term arrangement.
Je**** Posted August 3 Posted August 3 39 minutes ago, BraveLittleToaster said: I do intend to tell him that. But it’s my understanding that she wants something long term and he’s willing to do that so I don’t see how she wouldn’t claim him. Though she did say she only does it for fun, again, I don’t see how she would not claim him if it’s a long term arrangement. Sounds like a move to get out of the relationship with you, it is usual with at least the dommes I’ve been with for them to request monogamy from their subs
2forhandsome Posted August 3 Posted August 3 It’s has always been my experience that when we like/love someone romantically we claim them. Open relationships just don’t work long term.
90**** Posted August 4 Posted August 4 You just told yourself the answer to your questions! If it wasn’t you still wouldn’t be questioning and ask them won’t give you the truth!! Like I said before if you like something you’re not gonna stop to please someone else … not everyone anyways!! But if it bothers you that much maybe it’s time to switch even if it’s hard
Ma**** Posted August 5 Posted August 5 Saturday at 01:33 AM, BraveLittleToaster said: Based on what I’ve seen and heard from many others, that’s what I feel would happen. Even though we’re in an open relationship, I thought we were looking at casual sex with others and possibly bringing in someone to join us. I don’t feel comfortable with him belonging to someone else in this way as it likely will mean the end of our relationship (which just officially started a few weeks ago and he was thinking of meeting with the Domme for the first time this coming weekend). Ya if you like him a lot, express how you feel about this to him. I would give more advice, but at this point it'd be more of how I would personally deal with it rather than being sound advice. I wish you the best.
br**** Posted August 5 Posted August 5 For me, poly relationships can work but ALL parties have to be in agreement. It sounds like you and him need to have a lot more conversations BEFORE entering into things with others.
ph**** Posted August 6 Posted August 6 I know a few D/S who have LTR and are non-sexual and have their own spouses or significant other who is ok with the relationship but as noted from other comments, all parties need to be in agreement as to each others part in the relationships otherwise it'll never work. Good luck!!
Dr**** Posted August 6 Posted August 6 Right away, the best advice anyone should give is if you don't 100% trust your partner, if losing them to someone else is a genuine concern you have, then this isn't the style for you. Do have an open relationship, long OR short term, you NEED to have absolute trust and faith in one another and your relationship. Put that on the back burner and evaluate the relationship you two have and decide if you feel secure enough in yourselves, one another and your relationship to allow other partners into the relationship in any capacity.
Recommended Posts